And I would lie if I said that it wasn't exciting.
thinking I'm the one he wants
standing in front of him
silently, not being sure if you both want to
break the rule, the distance.
I would lie if I said I didn't knew he was gonna break my heart. I knew it from the beginning, but I told myself that I don't care, I told myself that it would be okay if it ended like this.
And he was, the whole thing was, rousing and cruel and dangerous.
I went to war with myself, the whole fucking time.
And in the end, nobody of my both sides won, because he took me the chance to decide.
Afterwards, I cannot believe how pathetic I was.
Waiting for him to decide, whether he wants me or not. Waiting for him to decide if he was brave enough or not. Willing enough, or not.
- if he had wanted me, he would have cared.
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PoetrySome poems about someone who didn't know how love me right, how I, myself, didn't know how to love me right, how I lost & finally found myself again.
