Closer Than Kismet

Part 1

It felt as though she had just closed her eyes when the sun dared to wake her. It seemed cruel that the day was so bright and beautiful when all she felt was empty and cold inside.

"Serkan," she whispered. He was her first wish every morning and her last thought throughout the restless nights. Eda Yildiz was bone-tired. It took all her energy to muster the courage to face the day. But she would do it for Serkan she reminded herself as she slowly got ready. He had been gone for nearly 2 months. 2 months of agony. The other half of her soul was missing, and she felt like she was slowly dying inside without him. But she couldn't shake this feeling of hope.

In her heart, she knew he was still alive. She felt it in her core that he would return. Her heart was broken, but she was breathing. And that meant that Serkan was breathing too.

"I can't breathe without you here," he had said to her. She believed him. He was out there she thought to herself as she brushed her hair. A soft, wet, muzzle nuzzled her lap.

"Sirius, handsome boy," she smiled at Serkan's dog. After Serkan's plane had gone missing during his flight to Italy, the days seemed to blend into one another. At first, she couldn't eat or sleep. She didn't have the will to live without him. But every time she closed her eyes she would see Serkan. Eda gathered all the strength to keep going. She brought Sirius to her Aunt's home for the night. She took her seat as the current majority shareholder in the holding. Running both Artlife and the holding (with the help of Engin and Piril), finishing her last assignments for school, and taking care of Sirius was exhausting, but it kept her distracted and busy. She would keep going until Serkan came back. Then everything would be okay. She just had to hold it together.

But in these moments while she was alone, she could hear him in her head. "I love you."

She could hear him calling for her sometimes. Then the scene would change in her head. A hospital. A cabin. Trees everywhere. Cold. Short flashes that she quite didn't understand, but it left her with the feeling that Serkan was reaching out for her too. She held onto that feeling like a lifeline. She'd do whatever it took to get him back. And he would return. She could feel it.

******

Serkan stared out into the trees. Though the sun was shining and it looked deceptively beautiful, it was just above freezing. The leaves were gone and the ground was icy. Like his heart. He felt dead. Cold on the inside. He felt like something was terribly wrong.

"This can happen with head trauma patients after an accident like this. It's normal for some of your recent memories to be gone. They might come back. They might not. But the best thing you can do is try to relax for some time before going back to Istanbul," he remembered his doctors advising.

"You need to take the time off, Mr. Bolat. It's imperative. You have head trauma, a fractured collarbone, and contusions all down your left side. At least 6-8 weeks off your feet. Rest. Heal."

It had been two months since his private jet had crash landed. He was unconscious for nearly a week after he was found. And when he came to, he had to do damage control. He couldn't let this news get out before his competition swooped in and took advantage of his weak state. He called Selin right away. He needed the best in PR to keep the news quiet. That he was alive. That he was alive and had lost his memory of the last few months. If any of his enemies knew, who knew what would happen to the holding or Artlife.

"Serkan, are you okay?" The question came from Selin. He wanted to laugh and smirked as he started out into the endless abyss of forest. She had dropped by to check on him as she had almost everyday since he had been here.

After waking up, he knew he couldn't call his mom or Engin. They would be too emotional. They would fawn over him. He wouldn't be able to breathe. His mom couldn't leave the estate anyway. Selin was his only option. She was the only one who would listen to him without asking any questions and she was the only one who would willingly do whatever he asked.

"Serkan, it's getting cold."

"I'll chop some firewood."

As he went outside to start chopping, he once again tried to remember what had happened before the accident. The last thing he solidly remembered was moving to London for work and ending things with Selin. She had just starting seeing someone new at the time, one of Kaan's colleagues. That was no longer the case as she tried to make clear. She reminded him constantly that they were always supposed to be the endgame. Frankly, all Serkan cared about at the moment was staying IN the game. So much had changed so quickly as Selin had filled him in as best she could.

Why can't I remember? Why do I feel so empty? Why can't I shake this feeling that something is wrong? Well, no shit something was wrong. Months were missing from his life. Months and from what Selin had told him they were miserable months.

A false engagement with some college student? A student who tried to ruin his career by over-promising to important clients? Who tried to use him as some twisted sense of revenge for her parents? Who somehow now had a majority share in HIS family company? What the hell had happened?

As he walked back to the house his anger grew with every step. How could he let it get to this point? How did some child have almost half his company? And apparently he was still engaged? Selin filled him in on the first engagement. But everything else was a blank.

Eda Yildiz.

Who was this girl?

"Serkan, I think it's time for you to go back to Istanbul. You need to take back control of the holding and Artlife. And I need to come with you. My place is by your side. I'm always here for you. We are in this together," Selin reassured him. They sat next to each other in front of the fireplace.

Serkan looked at those big blue eyes. For a split second, her eyes flashed brown. Elongated eyes with the longest lashes he's ever seen appeared in front of him. He shook his head quickly as he felt a migraine coming on.

"Serkan, are you okay?" Selin cuddled closer to him, putting her arms around his shoulder and rubbing them slightly. Serkan pulled away instinctively. He didn't know why her touch always left him feeling chilly inside.

"I'm fine, Selin. I just don't want to go back blindsided. I need to be prepared. Logical. I have to get my company back."

Selin huffed. "That's a given. Doesn't it seem strange to you that you did all these things you've never done? Now she owns 45% of the company. She's a master manipulator. Eda Yildiz."

"I know. I have to come up with a plan," he said mostly to himself.

"Serkan, the only way you'll get those shares back is if you actually get married to her."

All the blood rushed to his head. A plane. Rings. "Will you marry me?" What the hell? Was this the accident? His imagination? The more he tried to grasp at the thread that was there, the more it seemed to escape him.

"Selin, listen. I'm tired. I think I'm going to head to bed. Feel free to let yourself out when you're ready. Get home safe." Serkan walked away without a glance. He didn't want to encourage her. But she did give him an idea. Suddenly a plan was forming in his mind. He might be able to pull it off. He just had to be calm. Logical. Smart. Serkan Bolat was ready to play this game. And win.

********

He dreamed he was in a beautiful rose garden. It smelled so good. Familiar, warm, and safe. There were flowers everywhere. His heart felt like it was going to explode from happiness and the overwhelming feeling of joy enveloped him like an old friend. A woman kneeling among the flower beds, tending to them. Softly talking to flowers, like a crazy person only he found it endearing.  Messy, wavy, brown hair halfway tied back with tendrils falling around her. She slowly looked up to him, with the biggest, most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. He was blinded by how gorgeous she was.

"Serkan?"

Serkan woke up suddenly. The warmth gone. Only the cold and dark surrounded him.