Dust Devils - A Girls Und Panzer Story

Chapter 76

Wednesday, September 18th 2013

"You were too hard on them..."

"I did what I had to do."

"You feel guilty about it."

"Sometimes doing the right thing leaves you feeling terrible. But it was still necessary."

"Look at what this sport has done to you. You wouldn't have acted like that a year ago."

"If anything, this sport is maturing me. I see that as a positive. Nothing wrong with that, is it? I am turning eighteen next year."

"Whatever you say...whatever you say..."

Coming out of a dream, Valarie abruptly awoke. Darkness still caked her room, and a glance at her phone told her why; 1 A.M. She sighed and laid back in bed, staring right up at the ceiling. Another dream, and it was a rather interesting one as all Valarie could remember was two voices talking to each other, both undeniably hers, but each had a distinction. One voice spoke with sympathy, an almost motherly tone. Kindness emanated from their words that were like honey. The other voice, too, had compassion, but it was fleeting. What was dominant in their speech was a kind of professionalism that was partially reminiscent of the tone of the book Valarie read over the previous weekend.

Valarie tossed and turned, taking great care not to disturb Emma, still profoundly asleep right beside her. As far as dreams go, it was the least intense by far. Yet, all the same, her mind was busy as she contemplated it. Was one of the voices right that she was indeed too hard on the Puma and AMR crews? Their excuses weren't the worst in the world, though at the same time, the very fact that two tanks on the team participated in a match, tankathlon or not, without her knowing about it grated against her so viciously that she wouldn't be surprised if her very bones had scratch marks on them. She was the captain, for god's sake. This stuff shouldn't happen.

Before falling asleep last night, Valarie did briefly, exceptionally briefly, consider rescinding the punishments she had dispensed and just make the Puma and AMR crews vow they would never do such a thing again. But such a thought was quickly expunged. No, they needed to be punished. They saw the firm line on the ground, plastered with every conceivable warning sign, and they still crossed it.

The tossing and turning then stopped. She was more confident in her actions yesterday, viewing them as totally justified. Discipline is doing that you hate, and undoubtedly does Valarie abhor what she had to do the day before.

Now, the only thing she was unsure of was how long these punishments would last. A week? A month? Or just when the mood strikes her?

Ashley never saw herself as much as a morning person. Getting ready in the morning was perhaps the least favorite thing for her to do in the world. Crawling out of bed, taking a shower, brushing her teeth, all of it an endurance and a dull routine. Mornings were why Ashley preferred her hair short. She remembered her time in elementary school where she would have to repeatedly brush her hair for what seemed like an eternity while also applying a multitude of products to keep it maintained just right. Oh, how she hated that. So much so that before she started middle school, she begged her mom to cut her hair short. Since then, she hasn't looked back. Her short hair was a part of who she was to the point that hair that reached her shoulders was now a foreign concept. Shorter hair, shorter morning routines. She just had to spray the top of her head with water, brush, and that's that.

Then there were morning classes, always a chore. It didn't matter if they were part of a state-of-the-art private school on a gigantic carrier or a dusty public school out in the desert. Morning classes were always a slog to get through. She always felt tired, though that may be from the result of her commonly staying up 'til 1 or 2 A.M. doing whatever her mind sees fit on the internet. It appears a healthy sleep schedule, like long hair, is foreign to her.