Dust Devils - A Girls Und Panzer Story

Chapter 88

Saturday October 5th, 2013

My morning started like all other mornings since the day I started schooling, with a shock. At five in the morning, I was awoken by a familiar jolt from the electric bracelet that wore snugly on my wrist. It served as my alarm and a damn good one at that as it never failed me. Now, you may ask yourself, why do I subject myself to being zapped every morning for the past several years rather than opt for the typical blaring alarm that pretty much everyone on Earth uses. Well, firstly, it doesn't hurt that much at all. In fact, I think I'm starting to actually like and look forward to the morning jolt. Also, I like to think that a zap can wake a person up better than any noise can. Secondly, and this is perhaps the most important bit...

I'm deaf.

I have been deaf all my life. I was born with it. And if I haven't already won big in the genetic lottery, the type of deafness I have is a rare phenomenon; Anacusis, absolute deafness. I've met more than enough people than I'd like to count who said that they are 'sorry' for me. That their 'heart aches' whenever they meet people like me. I know they mean well, they really do, but stuff like that irks me beyond belief. Whenever people say that I always give them the same response.

"Don't feel sorry for me because I'm not. I like to think I'm thriving."

That usually shuts them up with a smile.

Still, I'd be lying to you and myself if I said I never wondered how profoundly different my life would be if I could hear. I'd also be lying if I said I never had those downer days when I was genuinely depressed and downtrodden that I couldn't hear. Couldn't hear things like the beats and tunes of moving music, the loving voices of friends and family that ooze warmth, and the roaring waves of the oceans that have now become a part of my life.

People go on and on about how beautiful those sounds are. I'll just have to take their word for it.

My usual morning routine, after getting shocked, you see, is to take a shower. Always, always, a shower. I cannot stand a bad odor. The thought of me smelling bad honestly terrifies me. I'm so thankful that my sense of smell is absolutely top-notch. Like, incredibly so. I can tell when people need to shower way before they realize it themselves. World's worst superpower right there. Marvel won't be making a movie about a person like me anytime soon.

After I took a shower, which took no time at all, I perfected the science around it. I went about getting dressed for the day. As today was Saturday, there was practice. Practice for the team were days that I loved and so looked forward to. As I was putting on my uniform, my gaze matched my opposite in the mirror in my bedroom. When I look at myself, I think about how this moment I am through now almost did not happen. I vividly remember that late autumn day back home at Barstow when Haley, bubbling with excitement, ran up to me during lunch with two papers clutched in her hand.

"They have an opening! They have spots!" she told me. She was so excited that it took her a few tries to sign the right words.

"What opening?" I responded to her. I remember being so confused at the time. Though when I read the papers she brought, it became clear. They were applications.

"The tankery team got two new tanks! I snagged these applications right as they became available!" Haley explained. "What do you say? Me. You. In a tank?"

I'll never forget the look on her face when I initially said no. You'd need a high-tech slow-motion camera to properly capture the transition of her face going from pure joy to solid disappointment.

Haley immediately began to poke and prod, asking why. My answer to her was straightforward; what could I really do? Drive? Fat chance. Any good driver carefully listens to the engine to know when to shift gears else they stall out and become an easy target. Shoot? A gunner is told where the enemy is so that's a no-go right there. Being a radio operator? I don't think I have to explain myself why that role wouldn't suit me. And then there's the commander role. They need all five senses and then some to do the job even decently. Nope nope nope.