Thoughts of you steal through my mind sometimes
uncontrollable and unexpected
all kinds of tiny details and emotions
my memories of you,
my sweet friend beyond the veil
are bittersweet pills of love and pain
and their taste is strange -
yet they are all i have of you
so i must cherish them,
and keep on swallowing -
to keep those memories alive and vivid in my mind
so that at least, to me, you will never be forgotten
and somehow, somewhere, in spirit
still always with me...
It's hard to deal with death
when you're the one still alive,
I thought I'd been through hell anyway
but babe, you really threw me
when you chose to die through sucide,
with no note left to say goodbye or why???
when i felt you had left me alone, behind...
And on that surreal night that i came home
to find you hanging, lifeless in the dark
a light went out in my heart,
and with you, part of me died...
Discovering in that instant - shock, pain, tears, grief, depression and insanity -
of such intensity, deeper than the darkest moments i had ever been through
in the years of my prozac stained heroin addiction, life on the city streets and prostitution...
There are some things nothing can prepare you for,
I was so angry for awhile, but i've never stopped loving you
And these days i'm getting stronger,
I can think of you and smile...
