BY YOUR SIDE (complete ✅)

Chapter 1 (It's just a date. Stop being dramatic)

College life is draining!

It is stressful juggling with part-time work, classes, assignments, and deadlines. It is even tougher dealing with annoying roommates. Many believe that roommates make or unmake one's college experience. This is why New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun thanks his stars for being able to room with his best friend, Tay Tawan Vihokratana.

Sure, Tay is not perfect. He finds reasons to bicker every day. He leaves his socks at random parts of the house. He forgets to do the dishes. Abandons his laundry until he has no clothes left. He sleeps walks into New's room at least three times every week. And leaves the toilet seat up after peeing.

But, he also sets an alarm to wake New up when he has early classes (New is not a morning person). He stays up into the night to keep New company when he has to study for a test. He makes them breakfast, lunch, and dinner when he has the time. And he is always there to offer New a shoulder to lean on. A constant. His pillar.

The first time New saw Tay was during high school P.E class. He did not think anything of the shaggy-haired spectacle-wearing teen though he found it weird that the boy kept staring at him. He quickly brushed it off because it was high school, everyone stared at everyone. As fate would have it, Khun Jack, their P.E teacher paired them up for the task of the day.

Tay, after class, shyly suggested that they sat together for lunch, T-shirt stained with sweat and hair sticking to his forehead. He had no friends yet, he said. New smiled and nodded because he too had no friends. They ate lunch together that day, the next day, and the day after. And have been pretty much inseparable since then.

They are so close that people often mistaken them for a couple. It has happened too many times that they don't bat an eye at the absurd speculation anymore.

It is true that once upon a time, New had a crush on his best friend. He acted on said crush in their freshman year in the university but Tay said he wasn't interested in 'that kind of thing' and New quickly got over it.

Now, he steps into their shared apartment, shedding his jacket. It has been a stressful 4-hour shift at the coffee shop where he part times. Tay is not in the living room. There is only one other place he could be. New makes a beeline for Tay's room and enters without knocking.

"Would it kill you to knock for once in—," Tay trails off upon seeing the look on New's face. He sighs. "Friday crowd?" New nods. "You want to take a shower?" He shakes his head in the negative. "Fine, get in then."

He slides in next to Tay and snuggles up to him. His best friend wordlessly pulls him against his chest and rubs his back. He listens to Tay's steady heartbeat until he falls asleep.

New wakes up two hours later to an empty bed and a nice smell coming from the kitchen. New steps out of the bedroom, stretching his limbs. He yawns loudly and smiles when he sees his best friend. Tay is walking out of the kitchen, balancing two bowls in both hands.

"Go grab a plate from the kitchen, will you?"

Normally New would grumble, preferring to be babied but Tay has a twinkle in his eyes and he would hate to see it disappear so he goes to the kitchen and does as instructed. Then he sits across his smiling friend at the table. "You look weird."

Tay pushes both bowls to New. "I look fine."

"No, you look—I don't want to say happy. You have this look you always have when you're scared but excited about something." He shovels some rice onto his plate. "Why are you not eating?"

Tay looks down at his lap and rubs the back of his neck, blushing. "I'm eating out tonight." He mumbles.

"You're acting weird, Tawan." New chuckles. "What's the matter?" He shoves a big spoon of food into his mouth.

"I have a date."

New chokes on the food. His body shakes with violent coughs. Tay rushes to hand him a glass of water and pats his back until the coughing subsides. "What?" New yells. "Did you say you have a date?"

"Yes."

"A date date or I'm going out with Off date?"

"A date date. You're being dramatic, Hin." He still won't look at New. "It's just a date."

"My best friend whom I've known for almost 8 years is going on his first date. Excuse me if I am a little dramatic."

Tay resumes his seat. "Aob and Joss set it up. They said I'm growing old."

"You're 22, Tawan," New states with an eye roll.

"Exactly!" Tay says. He is flattening the table mat with his hands. "I'm 22 and I haven't had many firsts. I am not living."

New presses his lips together. His heart makes a little squeeze as he recalls the night he was rejected by his best friend. After that, he concluded that Tay was asexual aromantic but apparently he isn't. "I thought—,"

I don't like that kind of thing New, Tay's voice rings clear in his head.

"You thought what?"

It never occurred to New to ask Tay what team he played for. He just assumed that Tay wasn't interested in anyone at all because he turned him down. Tay might have just been uninterested in men. He shakes his head. "Nothing. So who is she?"

"He, it's a he and his name is Lee."

A long silence fills the space around them. Then, "oh." He whispers. It hurts. That kind of thing did not mean men. It was him, New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun. Tay didn't want him. He believes he is over his crush but the pain in his sternum is crippling. "That's crazy, Tay." He manages a smile. "I'm happy for you."

Though it hurts, he isn't lying. He loves Tay more than anything and wants him to be happy. Nobody is more deserving.

"Thanks." Tay finally meets his eyes. He gives New one of those longing stares, the kind that made him believe he had a chance some years ago.

It is New's turn to look away. He can't endure that look. Not now. So he fills his mouth with pork and chews slowly. "You should talk to me about these things. Not Joss or Luke." More chewing. "I am your best friend. Not them." New catches his eyes. "Capisce?"

Tay shifts his gaze to New's forehead. He was never really good at looking maintaining eye contact. "Yes mom, I'll talk to you about my feelings."

"I'm serious, Teh."

"I know you are, Hin."

Their shared nicknames do little to uplift New. He is happily munching but the food tastes sour. His heart feels heavy. Tay is just going on a date so why does it feel like his best friend is being stolen from him?