BY YOUR SIDE (complete ✅)

Chapter 2 (I don't like that kind of thing)

3 years ago

New takes a deep breath and lets it out. Today is the day he confesses to Tay. He has had a crush on his best friend since the second year of high school and is 99.5% sure that Tay likes him too.

He knows friends don't have sleepovers and cuddle throughout the night. He knows friends don't stare at each other's lips the way Tay looks at his. He knows friends don't turn down scholarship opportunities to study abroad just because the other person didn't get in. He knows friends don't get mad when the other person brings a fling home. He knows for sure a friend shouldn't make his heart flutter the way Tay does.

He chugs two beers for liquor courage. This is a make-or-break situation. He doesn't want to break.

"Are you still nervous?" Gun asks. Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat is a friend from his Introduction to Engineering class. It was him who persuaded New to confess after he caught him smiling at Tay's texts too many times.

"Of course I am," New peeks out the kitchen door. Tay is laughing, gums wide and head thrown back at something either Aob or Off said. He rolls his eyes. "I don't know why he's friends with these assholes."

"You're not about to go on an 'I hate Tay's new friends' rant now." Gun whines.

"I'm not ranting! Seriously, look at them." He rants. "They are always around him."

"It's a party in your apartment, New. Where do you want them to go? Tay is nice to Arm and me. Be civil with his friends."

New groans. "I don't know whose side you are on."

"Yours always, baby," He smiles sweetly, patting New's cheeks. "I'm going to call Tay. Trust me, he likes you too. Anyone with eyes can see that." He pats New's cheeks once more and leaves.

New begins pacing the kitchen with his teeth nibbling at his nails. Tay walks in a few moments later with a deep frown on his face.

"Are you okay?" he asks. His hands lay where Gun's previously was.

"I'm fine, Teh." He smiles.

"Why did you send for me?"

New bites his lips. Lets out a shaky breath. This is the moment of truth. Tay is his best friend. They've seen each other at their lowest moments. He shouldn't be apprehensive. He can do this. He opens his mouth to speak but can't find the words. It's not that easy.

"Are you drunk?" Tay is looking at him like he suddenly grew a second head.

"Of course I am drunk. We're celebrating surviving a semester in the university." He chuckles nervously. "Everyone is drunk."

Tay shakes his head as a fed-up parent would. There's a smile pulling his lips up. "What do I do with you, Hin?" He parts the bangs covering New's eyes. "Stop being childish and join the party. Off thinks you hate him."

He pouts. "I'm not gonna deny that."

"Why do you hate them? They are cool."

"They aren't. They are always around you."

"They are my friends." Tay.

"I am your friend."

Tay pulls his brows inward. He takes one step back, eyes narrowing into slits. "Wha—," He gestures towards the living room. "Them? You're jealous of them?"

"I'm not jealous." He looks down at his feet.

"Thitipoom, look at me." He tips New's chip up with his index finger. "Those guys are nice people and I like them. I may even care about them more in the future. But—," He fans out a breath. "Us? This, what we have, they couldn't hold a candle to it. I don't see it changing now or in the future." He bridges the gap between them. Reclaims New's cheeks in his hands. "You are the most important person to me."

When one's best friend whom they've been wanting to confess their feelings to says profound things while cradling their face and looking into their eyes (something Tay hardy does), they do the only thing humanly reasonable. New leans forward and touches his lips to Tay's. Tay freezes and New starts forming an apology in his head. He feels a panic attack coming and starts to draw back but Tay's lips move start moving.

At first he feels an onslaught of emotions then calm sudden follows. Kissing Tay feels like flying. Like sailing across calm waters. He is trembling because he's kissing the person he's wanted since high school. New lifts his hands to Tay's jaw to deepen the kiss. He wants more. He needs more. However, Tay pulls back and keeps New away with a hand to his chest.

"Wha—What's it?" New asks, confused.

"You're drunk." He states, eyes gelid. His upper lip tick in discomfort. "You're drunk, Newwiee. Do you think I'm like th—the people you bring home every night?"

New recoils. "What? No—,"

"Do you think I'm just a warm body to fulfill your transitory moment of sexual needs?"

New is dumbfounded. He feels cold to his toes. It hurts. A lot. He cannot remember all the things he practiced to say.

"I'm not like that New," His eyes hold so much hurt. "I don't like that kind of thing." Then he turns around and walks out of the kitchen.

**

Now

"You're spacing out again, Thitipoom." Gun rams his shoes into New's shin.

New is startled out of his reminiscing. He groans. Facepalms. "I'm tired, Gunnie. I can't stop thinking about that night." He complains. "Why Now? I haven't thought about this in over two years."

"What night?" Gun takes a bite into his sandwich. They are having lunch in between classes at the school cafeteria.

New licks mayonnaise off his lips. "Confession night."

The smaller man chuckles. "Oh confessiongate. You wouldn't stop crying."

"Shut up, Atthaphan. Please don't elevate my stress."

"Do you think it has anything to do with Tay's new male friend?" He closes moisturized lips around his straw.

"No."

Gun throws him a long stare. "You've been complaining about this Lee fellow all week long. Are you gonna finish your sandwich?" He is reaching out as he asks. "No? Okay." He bites into New's half-eaten sandwich. "This is just like freshman year." He speaks with food in his mouth. This would be disgusting with anyone else but Gun's bites are too tiny to make a mess. "You see every new person in Tay's life as a threat."

"Lee is a threat." He defends, voice raised. "Tay is always on the phone texting him. The other day, he face-timed him during breakfast."

"—during breakfast," Gun says at the same time. "Yes, you complained about this the day before yesterday and yesterday. You need to let Tay grow." He takes another sip of his coco drink. "He has lived a sheltered life whereas you've been around," he smirks. "A lot. I'm talking half the campus."

"Enough, I get it."

"He has never stopped you from sleeping with or dating anyone. It's your turn to support him."

New sighs. Perhaps it's time to let Tay be his own person. It is a terrifying thought. "I hate it when you're right."

"I'm always right."

"Not always. You swore Tay liked me back."

"I saw what I saw, Thitipoom." He points to New's strawberry drink. "Will you finish that?"

New slides the cup over to him. He speaks after a brief moment of silence. "Will he stop loving me now?"

Gun regards him with sad eyes. "I don't know, New. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. But you're Tay and New. Shouldn't you have a little faith in your friendship?"

The answer only further breaks his heart.