BY YOUR SIDE (complete ✅)

Chapter 5 (So what, you don't love me anymore?)

New doesn't return to the apartment that day. Or the next. He cannot bring himself to face Tay after the unwanted insight into his real feelings. Gun is right; New had carried a little flicker of hope that Tay would one day love him in that way. Sexuality is fluid after all. How could he know that it was less about sexuality and more about himself?

What does Lee have that he doesn't? What makes him so special that Tay made an exemption for him? Why did Tay choose him over New? These thoughts make him bitterer.

After his morning shift at the coffee shop, he decides to stop at home. He left their home in a rush that day without any of his belongings. He intends to sneak in quickly, pack his shit, and leave before his friend returns from class.

Tay is waiting in the living room. Talk about foiled plans. New crosses his arms over his chest. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"I know that, smartass. You're supposed to be in class now."

Tay gets up from the couch and approaches New. "How many years have we known each other?" He stops before him. "This is not our first fight, Hin. You're predictable. Also, I called Arm and he told me you'd be coming."

New silently curses his friend. He lifts his chin in defiance. "What do you want?"

"I miss you," he says. "Please come home."

New's retort dies at the tip of his tongue. He doesn't say anything. He holds Tay's searching gaze for a moment. He has never lost a staring match. But today, he averts his eyes and holds his breath to control the frenzy his heart has gone into.

"I'm sorry." Tay drifts closer. New can smell the citrus smell of his aftershave. Being in each other's orbit is normal for them. However, New feels wrong now. This proximity means a lot more to him than it does to Tay. It feels as though he is taking advantage of his best friend. "I'm sorry I called you—that." He takes New's hands. Slides their fingers together. That homey feeling engulfs him again.

"I was dealing with my issues," Tay confesses. "I shouldn't have taken them out on you. I shouldn't have said what I said about that night either. I was out of line. I'm sorry." He gives a small squeeze to New's hands. "Please forgive me?"

New is still mad but Tay's words have such power over him. Tay could've said potato and he would be willing to come back home. "What issues?"

"What?"

"You said you were dealing with some issues. What issues?"

"I'm sorry, Hin. I can't tell you."

"But I'm your best friend," he exclaims. He needs Tay to understand this. It's been just the two of them since the beginning. No Off, Joss or Aob, and certainly no Lee.

Tay lets out a ragged breath. "I can't talk to you about everything. I need my secrets."

"But I talk to you about everything."

"Do I know everything Gun and Arm know?"

New yanks his hands from Tay's. "Go talk to your best friends then. They'll happily get you another replacement of me." New never liked Tay's friends though he eventually warmed up to Off. Until the words fell from his lips, he didn't understand how much dislike he harbored toward them."Better still, go talk about your issues with your precious boyfriend!"

New's angry exit is curtailed by Tay. He wraps his arms around New's torso, pulling his back against his chest. "I'm tired of fighting." He mumbles. Props his chin on New's shoulder. His lips brush against his ears. "Just come back home. Be mad at me from here, please."