It's Saturday, July 9th, 2015. My mother's funeral.
The whole town showed up. I guess it made me feel good, if you could consider my state "good."
But she looked so beautiful, in her mahogany coffin, lined in lavender silk. Lavender was her favorite color. I dressed her in her favorite dress. It was yellow, with pink flowers around the waist. I thought it was better than black. She would much rather be remembered in yellow than in black.
Brielle was my rock through the whole day. Her and her sister Melody were always close with a tissue and open arms. That was all I needed.
The ceremony was perfect. I had written a speech for her. I knew I wouldn't be able to get all the way through it without breaking down, but I tried. And it felt good afterwards. It felt good to finally free all my pain, to let everything go.
But the hardest part was letting go of her. And as I looked into her vacant eyes for the last time, I felt Dad's arms around me. I looked up into his eyes and felt okay for the first time in a while.
And as she was lowered, I was still okay.
I think I would be okay for a while.
