What are we? // pansy X oc

chapter twenty-three.

Pansy

I told her I love her last night. I made sure that she was asleep to say it because I didn't want to get rejected and I'm also not sure if I want her to fully know yet. It's scary.

I woke up to Atlas sprawled out across the bed, her hand intertwined with mine. She always needs to touch me in some way and the feeling is very much mutual. I feel like I need to be next to her at all seconds of the day. My need for her grows stronger every day, scaring me more.

She groans and pulls my hand to her lips, kissing the back of it and then falling right back to sleep.

Her hair falls on her back, the sheet just above her ass, covering her enough. Her back rises and falls as she breathes, the air falling on my hand. I close my eyes and try to fall back asleep when someone knocks on the door, hard. Altas jumps and looks at me.

"Atlassssss. Wake up!" I furrow my brows looking at her as her eyes widen and she smiles.

"It's Adrian" She smiles standing up and running to her dresser, throwing on random clothes. She tosses some to me and I throw them on.

She runs to the door, unlocking it and then forcing it open "Adrian!" She yells, jumping in his arms.

I love seeing her happy. She and Adrain have always had such a great relationship. Some nights, when I would go down to the common room, I would see them sitting on the couch talking but I wouldn't stay or listen to them. I wonder what they were always talking about.

"Parkinson," Adrian says with a nod of his head as I do the same.

He says something to Atlas about her neck and I chuckle, turning my attention away from them and getting lost in my own thoughts.

Watching Atlas smile and laugh with her brother shows me how much she loves him. She's always in such a good and happy mood, especially with me but what if one day I say or do something and everything we have now goes downhill?

Nothing is going on other than friends with benefits but I wish there was. As I've said before, it scares me.

She could say no, tell me she's not into me that way.

Then why is she still with me?

Many reasons. But does one of them involve her loving me back?

Love. It's fake... Isn't it?

"Pansy, come down here." My mother calls for me. it's around six, I'm assuming for dinner.

"Mother" I smile at her.

"Dinner" she responds.

I take my seat and look at my parents who I never see make eye contact. They have never once said 'I love you' they've never even shown it. They don't show it to me either.

The most love I get from them is a pat on the back or a 'good job' for my grades or doing something they approve of. never have they said they loved me.

My grandma has.

Draco, who is basically my brother, has.

Why is it that the two people who created me, cant?

"Why does is it seem like you two don't love each other?" I dare ask, taking a bite of my salad.

"Pft" my father puts down his fork, looking at me "Love is fake. There is no such thing."

My mother gulps, looking down "Your father is right. Nothing of the sort exists."

I nod, saying nothing else as we finish dinner.

"Pansy?" Atlas's voice pulls me from my mind. Her hands rest on my cheeks as she stands between my legs, looking down at me.

I didn't notice that I moved to sit on the bed.

"Are you okay, lo- darling?" She stutters.

She was going to call me love. But she didn't. Was it because she didn't feel it or it was just natural because of Cassius?

"Just lost in thought is all" I smile up at her, my hands wrapping around the back of her thighs.

"Come on. Adrian and Audrey have to show us something. Well, me, but I want to bring you too" She kisses my lips and pulls me off the bed and with her out into the hall where everyone is waiting.

"To the guest room, we go" Adrian smiles, walking past Atlas and I.

He puts his hand on the doorknob and looks at everyone, mainly Atlas "It's still in progress but," he opens the door, stepping in waiting for us to follow "Baby Pucey is on its way"

The rooms white, with some pictures on the wall and boxes with different furniture items in them, ready to be set up.

"You're fucking joking?" Atlas turns to Audrey who has a huge smile on her face.

"Three months along" She jumps up, grabbing onto Atlas's hands and pulling her into a hug.

Everyone is hugging and smiling and laughing while I stand in the corner, not sure of what to do. I turn my head a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey," I say to Adrian as he watches the others converse.

"Don't hurt her" He motions to the beautiful girl with the brightest smile ever on her face. "I don't think she could handle it. Shes loved you for years"

"Love?" My eyes widen as I question her brother.

"Since she first laid eyes on you I could tell. She's never said it but it's there. It's noticeable" he takes a sip of his water as I drop my mouth open.

Atlas stands there, laughing with Audrey. I watch her as she pushes her hair over her shoulder, tucking a piece behind her ear.

She couldn't possibly love me.