Chapter Twenty Four

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"Well I have a question..." Arrow speaks up, excitement pulling her voice up. We'd been sitting in silence, just thinking over everything that had been exposed. I turn to look at her and she's practically vibrating in her seat.

"Can I have your autograph?" She squeals. I roll my eyes.

"What?" She cries. Her brother is shaking his head at her, obviously not approving. I sigh and squeeze his hand one more time before letting it drop.

"No." I smile at her, but it's weak. She frowns.

"What? Why?" I roll my eyes. The adults start standing from their seats, obviously going to have their own discussion of how best to deal with this new threat. Once they're gone I push to my feet so that I can stretch out on the floor.

Blake gets up without a word and follows them out.

I lay on my back and let my eyes drift shut.

"Why?" Arrow whines again. Ryker growls at her, but I wave my hands in his direction.

"T-that's not who I am anymore."

I can feel the frown she throws my way. A second later I feel her stretch out beside me, just beyond the bubble I like to keep.

"Why?" She lilts. I frown and turn to look at her. She rolls her eyes at me.

"I'm not stupid, I get that everything you went through made you wary and you're still dealing with the trauma, but.. Don't you think eventually you will want to go back to dancing? You were so incredibly talented and watching you... It was like watching pure magic."

"That's enough Arrow." Ryker growls. I flick my eyes open again to lock eyes with him. He looks so frustrated, and I want so badly to reach out and smooth the crease from between his eyebrows.

"I was just-" "N-no its ok... " I breathe. I flick my eyes closed again and then have an idea.

"I-is it possible to share m-memories?" I whisper into Ryker's mind. I feel his confusion at the base of my mind, but he answers my question with one of his own.

"With me?" I shrug. "With everyone, I g-guess." He sighs and I feel him settle on to the ground beside me, closer than his sister but still not touching me.

"Take your wall down, and we will be able to hear whatever you're thinking about." I nod once and then focus on removing the wall in my mind. When it's gone, Ryker flits into my mind to tell me to go ahead. I am surprised that I can feel his trepidation, his sadness in a way that I almost confuse it as my own. I push those thoughts aside and suck in a deep breath.

"J-just... just w-watch." I speak out loud. My friends hold their breath as I start thinking of the best parts of my life. The parts of my life that were Before.

Steven at six dancing beside me, twirling around and around to one of  Beethoven's symphonies. The memory feels sad, tainted. Another memory, again tainted; us practicing our plie's in my old house, both dressed in black tights and legwarmers.

I remember another and a stab of pain arcs across my chest. Steven, dressed in gold and white with the crown on his head, with his arms wrapped around my waist as he lifts me. I can hear the audience beyond the orchestra, and although I KNOW I felt happy while this memory was forming, the lights are tinged blue and it hurts too much to focus on in too much detail.

I flick to another memory- signing programs outside of the Ed Mirvish Theatre in Toronto. The pen feels heavy in my mind, and I feel guilty seeing my name scrawled across the page. This is the persona that ruined my life, that stole my best friend from me.

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