positions | jean kirstein

chapter three: squad

I sat there quietly eating my dinner as Hange continued talking about their titan experiments. Vera had a blank stare, keeping her eyes on the wall in front of her.

"Hey, Vera," I wave my hand in front of her face to grab her attention.

"Hu- huh what?" she replies startled. I silently laugh at her cluelessness.

"You were zoning out. Are you okay?"

Meeting my eyes, she answers quickly. "Uh.. yeah! Everything is fine."

I stare at her. "You're lying."

"Pft what! Like I said, everything is f—"

"Vera. You know you can tell us anything," Hange joins in with concern in their voice.

Letting out a long sigh, she finally caves in.

"I just miss my home. My parents." She avoids our eyes, staring at her bowl of food.

Vera was from Trost District just like me. She had a great relationship with her parents, especially with her mother. I recall all the long nights during training camp where we stayed up admiring the night sky, talking about random topics that came across our minds. Every time she talked about her family to me, there was always a wide smile across her face. Luckily, during the invasion of Trost, she and her parents managed to escape and get inside of Wall Rose safely. They now lived in a small town within Wall Rose.

She left home to become a Scout, wanting to make a name for herself.

Wanting to help save humanity.

Hange, who was seated next to Vera, reaches over and gives her a hug in an attempt to comfort her.

"It's okay, Vera. It's tough out here and many of us miss our loved ones."

They paused and let out a sigh before continuing. "It only gets harder. Perhaps, after we reclaim Wall Maria, you could go home and visit them," Hange replies enthusiastically.

Vera gives her a smile.

Hange is almost like a mother figure to me. After losing both my parents, I was all alone. Hange was the one who saved me from a titan and took me into their squad when I joined the Survey Corps, teaching me everything I know. If there is one person in this world that I could rely on, it would be Hange.

"Maybe you can write them a letter? I know some of the other Scouts send letters home," I pipe in.

"Maybe I will," Vera responds, sending Hange and I a soft smile. "Thank you, guys."

Once I finished my meal and said my farewells to Hange and Vera, I begin to walk back to my room. It is already dark outside, the stars twinkling in the night sky.

Watching the stars has always been one of my favorite things to do. It was nice to get away from everything, from this world, even if it was only for a night.

Opening the window in my room, I climb out onto the roof. Since the Captains Quarter is on the second floor, I had a nice private rooftop area overlooking a vast field. I take a seat, wrapping my blanket around me tighter and with my arms wrapped around my knees, and I look up.

The stars seem brighter than usual, and I sit in peace for about twenty minutes before I hear knocks at my door. I tell him to come in, hoping he could hear me from outside the window.

The door opens and closes, and I listen as his footsteps approach me.

I slightly turn my head back to look at him. Jean, with his hair messy, was wearing his uniform with the buttons of his collared suit slightly undone at the top. He looked as if he hasn't slept in days.