ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴ- ˢᴾᴱᴺᶜᴱᴿ ᴿᴱᴵᴰ

eigth, b

intense tw!! drug use. explicit detail/ drug withdrawal/ talk of overdose. pls don't read if you're at risk. dm me and i'll be happy to explain what happened and send you any parts that aren't triggering!! u don't have to miss out i promise.

this is from a drug addicts perspective. it will come across as though drugs are a "relief/escape/easier" this is not the case. he will learn this. i am not nor will i ever condone drugs.

absolutely no dilaudid jokes allowed. they will be deleted.

<33

spencer's pov

"moodswings" pt 2

my hands shook as i ran up the stairs to my apartment. blurry blurry blurry. cold. it's the floor. i can feel blood. fuck. that hurt.

i get up from the stairs i fell on and make it to my door. i drop my keys.

they won't go in the lock.

i kick the door. again. again. again. bang.

the door has a hole in it. right where my foot had been.

i try the keys again. my hands are still shaking. i can't see i can't see i can't see.

it takes what feels like an hour but goes by quicker than ten seconds, too many heartbeats. i can feel them in my hands.

i'm in.

i run. run to the box, it's under my sofa.

i barely make it. i feel like i'm going to collapse. i'm not. my hands are shaking. shaking shaking.

i'm smart enough to know that withdrawals don't kill you. they just feel like they will. i don't care. i don't care i don't care i don't care.

i should.

cap off syringe in pull it out stab pull push.

relief.

i let my head fall back onto my sofa, and then the tears start coming. they turn into a river as i fall asleep. i drift away. i'm on a raft at sea. it begins to sink but i don't feel like i'm drowning.

———

"reid!" i vaguely recognise morgan.

i drift back to sleep. calm. ocean waves, cascading over me. over my body. i'm at sea. i'm free. i'm calm.

"he's not responding." my chest starts to jolt. electric.

the cabin. tobias. his father, my foot. whip whip whip whip.

tobias.

i don't want it.

i don't want it.

no please.

please no.

cap off syringe in pull it out stab pull push.

choose choose choose

choose one of your friends to die

click click click i won't do it

click

choose

"aaron hotchner"

click
bang.

———

"spencer reid you better wake up right this minute i swear to god."

penelope? my friends are alive?

"let him get his rest garcia." aaron. he didn't kill aaron.

i chose him and he didn't die.

relief. sea. my raft is floating.

i'm not drowning.

i open my eyes.

a/n🖤

ok so clearly this was erratic.

the writing didn't make full
sense, it wasn't supposed to!

anyways this won't be the last
(by a long shot) mention of
spencer's drug abuse. so
please if you're uncomfortable
don't read :( i'm sorry.

mwah mwah mwah.