Unclosed Desires

Chapter 5: With A Wonder And A Wild Desire

It didn't matter whether Arizona approved or not. Beca had made her mind up, she wasn't going to go there with Chloe. She wasn't going to mix business with pleasure, not that she judged anyone who did. But she had the seen the drama it would bring to the people around her. Derek and Meredith might be okay, Callie and Arizona might be good too. But there were people like Lexie and Mark who broke up and are now miserable without each other. Callie was married before Arizona to someone else in this hospital and that ended terribly.

Beca knows herself and knows how she can be. Beca was self destructive when things got too much for her, good or bad and she didn't know why it just happened. Perhaps it was just a habit in her family to fuck up. Her brother did it by his marriage going to shit, her sister did it with her drug addiction and her dad did it by getting shot and dying. Unfortunately she wasn't like her two other sisters who had perfect lives and perfect families. She wasn't built like them even though she wished that she was, the reason she didn't speak to them that much was because she resented them for it all.

Derek and Amelia were the ones that looked after her when growing up, then when Amelia fell off the wagon at such a young age, Beca then had to look after herself and her big sister who was aggressive both verbally and physically because she was desperate for drugs. There was a reason Beca only allowed herself to depend on one person. She could only manage to trust one person.

So she told herself that if she was ever going to let anyone else in it wasn't going to be someone she worked with, it was too messy. If only Chloe was something other than a doctor, if only she was a barista or something at a coffee shop down the road or just something .

Beca walked into the Grey household which was literally like some kind of hostil lately with the amount of residents and interns flying around. It was a good thing Chloe already had a place to stay else she probably would have a room here too, Beca stood in the middle of the hall as she waited impatiently, drawing out a breath before calling "Derek hurry up! When I said I'd give you a ride I didn't think you'd be this slow"

She could hear his laughter from the hallway upstairs and then eventually say his amused grin, tying his tie as he came down the stairs "Have you always been this short fused?"

"Yes actually" Beca muttered, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to her before she sorted his damn tie out herself "Have you always been this crappy at getting yourself dressed?"

"Just in a rush that's all"

Beca hummed "Chief of Surgery pressure is catching up with you" she slapped his chest when done and they headed towards the door.

"I'm handling it just fine. How are you handling having to work in the same building as the girl you've been sleeping with?"

Beca groaned and muttered underneath her breath as she approached the car "Sloan and his damn mouth-okay" she stopped as they got to the car, she raised her brows to him as she set the record well and truly straight "We haven't been sleeping together. We slept together twice and twice only, a week ago and I've barely spoken to her since"

Derek still had a smirk on his face and just nodded, Beca then nodded back to him and walked round to her side of the car. She then heard her older brother ask as they got in "How's that then since she's Robbins' cousin?"

"When we have gone out it's mostly been in groups so..."

"So you get away with it more"

Beca just nodded and started up the car, letting out a short breath "You talk to mom?"

"Not lately, no. You?"

Beca scoffed a small laugh and shook her head "Please the only time I talk to mom is when she backs me in a corner on her visits"