Things I'll never say

F O U R

A R I A N A ' S POV

February 6, 2015

Yesterday, we didn't win the soccerbase but did beat the section Loyalty.

We'll play tug of war again today and dinuron.

They explained that dinuron is pushing a bamboo towards the other section in that way they could lose.

Today is the awarding and the section who got the most win on the Palarong pinoy gets to win the 1st Place/Gold trophy.

Last year, when I was still in 2nd grade. 3-Faithfulness got in the 5th place.

Means they didn't get anything at all.

One thing made me comfortable yet so incomplete about today.

He was absent.

I've been looking around the classroom for hours if he'll still come but I didn't see a single silhouette.

I wonder why he is absent.

Like, this is the only day that he left school and palaro is the 3 days he considered as his favorite.

While the first set of my section played dinuron, Ms. Hazel came up to me and said that Ms. Toniette is calling me for the practice to sing for the awarding in palaro.

But I'm not in the mood to sing.

When I arrived at her office, I immediately told her that my mom told me not to sing today because my voice is so raspy.

So I did my special act.

I gulped my salaiva to make my voice raspy...its a trick;)

She said that its fine and I can go back to my team.

Going out, I whispered to myself, "yes!"

When I come back to the NBC, Ms. Arnie told me to go at the court to play tug of war.

Same position as Wednesday, 4th.

I forgot to mention that yesterday, we played kadang-kadang.

It's like played by 5 people, 2 woods, and 10 ropes.

Each 5 students needs to put their left foot on the left wood and right foot on the right wood.

The ropes are attached to the woods which needs to be held and each students needs to count each 2 seconds to step right left.

I know you don't understand but I didn't too in the first time they told us about it.

Sometimes it's called as , the centipede relay.

Playing tug of war, I thought of something.

Why didn't he come to school in the day he knew I'm gonna play?

I know, I know that maybe he's sick or something but still.

And yesterday, when I was playing kadang-kadang I didn't see him anywhere shouting for our team, he's out of sight, and is nowhere in sight.

He didn't even have the effort to support me or even our section to cheer and shout.

But when he's playing in soccerbase, I keep on shouting and cheering loud.

Especially when it's his turn.

I got mad and depressed.

My mind fills with questions that I can't ever answer.

Like Wednesday, when I was furious I got it out by playing tug of war.

So I did.

1st whistle, push down and finding balance

2nd whistle, pull.

I pulled hard again while thinking about the questions like why didn't he go?

Was he trying to avoid me or something?

Did I do something wrong?

Does he hate me?

Why is he absent?

Why didn't he support?

We went to the new gym, Dr. Sese our principal will anounce the winner for all games.

......pass the other awarding thingy......

"The overall champion for the Grade 3 level this year's palaro is the section...... GRADE 3 FAITHFULNESS!!!"

We all stood up to go to the stage and grab that Damn Gold Trophy!!!

Still, it bothered me that he didn't go.

I'm still full of anger and depression.

I'm still alone