BOOK ONE || the city lights series
Adina Ricci is the daughter of two of the most famous people on the planet. She grew up in the spotlight and she never once felt ungrateful for what she had been given. But, right before her fourteenth birthday, he...
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WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me? This isn't me. No. It can't be.
It's like I've been possessed by some demon. A demon who's hell-bent on making me feel these things that I don't want to feel for a boy who makes me want to pull my hair out every second of every day.
I've gone through this multiple times in my head and yet this is all I can come up with.
Reasons Why I Can't Like Xavier Hill
1. He pisses me off. 2. He knows how to push my buttons. 3. He can't take anything seriously. So if I were to tell him how I felt, chances are he'd just laugh in my face. 4. He's too tall. 5. He goes to the gym.
Those seem reasonable... right? You know what? I don't know anymore.
This past month, no actually, this past year, I've slowly been getting closer and closer to that dick face. At first, it wasn't on purpose. He was the one who would text me. He was the one who would talk to me at lunch. He was the one who made me catch feelings.
This whole mess isn't my fault. It's Xavier's. Because if he hadn't gotten so close to me, I wouldn't be so conflicted right now.
I've always hated Xavier. We were both new to Caldwell at the beginning of middle school and met on the first day because all the 'new kids' got grouped. I remember being so attracted to his golden-brown hair and cloudy grey eyes. Almost hypnotized, but he had to go and ruin it. Like he always does.
The first thing he said to me was, and I quote, 'nice mustache, blondie'.
I mean, I did have a bit of peach fuzz on my upper lip but it wasn't too noticeable. Well, not until Xavier had to go and point it out to everyone. That experience was traumatic, to say the least, and it was also the exact moment that I knew I hated Xavier Hill.
Day by day, week by week, and year by year these comments of his would increasingly piss me off. And it was like he didn't even realize that he said anything wrong. But as I said, this year a lot of shit has happened.
A year ago, would I have called him a friend? Probably not.
Now, he's one of the people in my life who I feel comfortable enough to open up to, including Tea and Chase. There have been a few times when I thought he was leaning in to kiss me, but the moment has always been ruined by something or other.
In the past couple of days, there has been a weird shift in our 'friendship', if you can even call it that. And I have a feeling that this weekend it is all going to change.
