Resistance → dark h.s.

Chapter 8

A//N: I apologize so much for not updating in like a month and a half! You guys probably hate me. But so far i am getting more ideas by the second. So enjoy this chapter and hopefully I can update/write a better chapter soon. Plus this chapter is a shitty short chapter too. Sorry again! 

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When I finally went to bed that night; he was the only thing on my mind. His laughs and his smiled clouded everything in my mind. It clouded any personal thoughts, I was smiling while I layed in bed. I just secretly hoped that this part of him wouldn't go away, and that he wouldn't go back to the cruel son of a bitch he was. 

Thats all that really worried me. That his true self would come back and leave me. It scared me to be alone now, now that he has showed this much attention towards me. It makes me feel safe and not lonely. I could already sense myself becoming attached but I couldnt help myself, this was a habit that I would never overcome. 

Overtime, that was all I used to do; get attached. I always thought it was the way of human nature, people show affection towards someone, allowing that person to come to think that the person likes them, when in reality they were just fucking with the persons feelings. Its like they intentionally lead you on to believe in filthy lies. 

Thats what most of my High School ecperience was, (besides the very few parties that I did go to.), was my heart being stabbed. Even though I have one year left, thats what it has already consisted of. And it's become frustrating. I don't really have a grip on feelings anymore, I just believe I do and then when they're confirmed mentally, they're just broken apart a shattered like glass. 

But the main question is, what are his feelings? Thats all that would ever really matter at this point, and myself figuring out what I like and if it's him. I mean he is my destined mate, and unless I wanted to go to prison for breaking the law and loving someone else, then I'm stuck with him.. But my goody-two-shoes personality would break through and wouldn' allow that to happen.

I rolled over on my side and stared at the wall in front of me, and staring at it for a while and becoming bored with the color, I began imagining how my father was doing; if he was dead or not. I wondered if he was even looking for me, if he cared enough to look for me. But after the fit that I threw after asking for his help, I doubt it. 

He was probably planning Mom's funeral. It shocked me to know that I've forgotten about her, and haven't really had the time to grieve over her. But being upset isn't something that I should do, which is really cruel considering that she was murdered. But it's life, I can't cry about it for the rest of my life, that would just make everything worse. She would want me to move on. 

I turned back onto my back; my eyes becoming droopy. I stared at the pointed paints chips on the ceiling, drifting off slowly thinking about my mom and how she might be doing right now. What she's thinking about, if she misses me and Dad. All these questions clouded my mind and I forgot about reality for a little bit. 

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 I woke up in a hurry, with heavy breaths and a sheet of sweat. I didn't remember my dream, but I knew that it was a nightmare. I sighed and decided to take a shower considering that I was just sweating and I probably drooled in my sleep too. 

I grabbed another pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and some underwear. I grabbed a towel from the closet in the bathroom. I stood there, aimlessly thinking. I decided that I would wash my hair and body then take a small bath. I smiled, and turned on the hot water. I hopped in and watched the steam rise around me. 

Valentines day was tomorrow and I was hoping for something, but I knew getting my hopes up was only gonna dissapoint me even more. I sighed just letting every thought of Valentines vanish my mind. I knew nothing was going to happen, so hoping was useless. 

I let the water run over me for a couple more minutes, then got out. I shook my head and dried my body off before leaving the bathroom and getting dressed. I couldn't hear Harry anywhere so I figured he was gone. I went into the living room and sat down on the couch, turning on the TV. 

I went to the TV guide and went through all the channels, finding nothing. I scrolled a little bit more and decided to just watch Netflix. Nothing seemed to interest me. I couldnt find anything to watch or to do. Letting my mind wander might just make my hope worsen. Why would I even expect Harry to get me anything? It was a ridiculous accusation that my mind couldn't afford.

I sat there on the couch, in silence. I could hear the wind outside. How could I have let this happen. Getting kidnapped, and not trying to do anything about that. I've just sat here and dealt with everything that has happened. Just thinking about this raged me. I was becoming pissed at the thought of what was happening. 

I stodd up from the couch and walked into the direction of the door. I banged harder each time, with no success. I ran down the hallway, feeling inclosed. I was flipping shit for just an overly thought about thought. It was slightly ridiculous and I still wasn't sure if I wanted to stay or not.

At this point I was grabbing things and throwing them. Rage pulsed through my body. I grabbed a lamp and a large hand stopped me. I looked up the arm seeing the familiar tattoos that scanned over the arm. I made eye contact with an enraged Harry and that's all I can remember.