My Only Sin

19: You Dont Love Me

This morning I woke up not being able to use it

I didn't notice it until now

It was like this small small piece inside of me that's almost invisible so unnoticeable that when I had it I couldn't even tell but now that it's gone it feels like I'm forgetting something when Scarlet told me being one of the fated lovers meant having my own magic I used it to my own advantage

I did my research

And it turns out that as long as my fated lover or Kai loves me I should have magic but... I don't, which really only means one thing

Kai doesn't love me anymore

I tried thinking of different explanations really I did I spent a whole day alone in my cabin while Kai was out helping Damon (because he wants Bonnie's forgiveness) on the internet researching and asking Josh a billion questions but there is literally no other reason

Then I started thinking about why and of course the first place my mind goes is he likes someone else.... Someone he won't stop talking about, someone he seems to want to go to hell and back for, someone he's devoting all his time too,

Someone like Bonnie Bennet

How I didn't see it before makes no sense he's literally never here he's always out trying to earn Bonnie's forgiveness I haven't seen him in two days straight this is the third night he hasn't come back for. Where could he even be sleeping? I don't know but it's not here that's for sure.

I haven't heard from him is 3 fucking days..... 3 fucking days! Not to mention he didn't even try to come save me from Scarlet and Bill no instead he just went on his own little adventure and is now following that Bennett witch around like a lost dog!even though she wants nothing to do with him

I stood up from the chair behind my computer and walked to my room my head feeling fuzzy like this was all some huge lie a dream I can't seem to wake up from

Well it's not a dream Delilah

Great you're back

Well what did you expect? Once again you're not good enough for someone just like I always said

That is the little voice in my head the one I haven't heard sense I was 16 when Liv secretly took me to therapy because she thought I had depression

You did.

You self harmed remember?

Harmed e-d as in past tense as in I'm no longer stupid enough to listen to you

So what you're gonna go on a rampage again?

Exactly

I grabbed the lamp on my dresser and threw it against the wall smashing it to pieces in one swift movement then I grabbed the mirror behind the dresser clutching to it's side and smashing it forward glass shards flying everywhere along with some pieces of wood that flew into my hair

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs grabbing my bat and smashing it through the wall over and over again before emptying his drawer in a pile on the floor and grabbing some scotch form the kitchen

Pouring it all over the clothes then grabbing the matches sliding one over the rough surface watching it become engulfed in flames before tossing it on the clothes now watching them become swallowed by the fire

~
Kai's Pov

I walked towards the cabin that I haven't been in for what seemed like the longest time. It's not that I didn't want to be here it's just that getting Bonnie to forgive me is a lot more work then I thought