The Death Date

chapter thirty-three

The day was finally here. For four months I had waited in vain, dreading its arrival. It had been a bleak storm stewing in the distance: swelling black clouds growing nearer with every passing second. But, like with all things we anticipate, watching it approach was often so much worse than living in it in the present.

The storm was here, right above me, but no lightning crashed, no thunder boomed; rain did not pelt my skin, nor did wind thrash me about. It was a normal sunny day in San Diego. I had lived out my time, as each of us did, and I had accepted that.

It didn't mean I wasn't scared. I was terrified. But I was also ready.

Vi and I were seated in our favorite section of beach on Fiesta Island. Dogs of all sizes reared and trotted past us, some coming by for a quick scratch. I happily obliged. Gentle waves lapped on the shore; the sound eased my breathing. In and out, in and out. All things had a rhythm.

"How did you know Warner liked you?" Vi asked.

I had just told her everything leading up to Warner's departure. She hadn't been surprised, nor had she insisted that it couldn't be possible. Vi simply listened as I retold the entire wild and incredible story, and I hadn't realized how much I needed to tell it – to hear it out loud – because it made it seem real.

At my retelling, some happiness washed in. In and out, in and out.

"I'm not really sure," I said honestly. "I think it was kind of sudden. You know, like it was slowly happening, but before I could process anything I was already there."

"It wasn't like that with Meghan and me."

"No." I smiled towards the ocean. "I don't think so either."

"I knew right away that I liked her."

"And I think the same was true for her," I agreed.

"Will you date him when he gets home from deployment?"

In and out, in and out.

"Um, I'd like to," I said truthfully as a void filled my chest. "We'll see how things go."

"If he kissed you like you said he did, I think he'll want to date you when he gets back. Unless he finds somebody on the ship. I've read that happens a lot. People get lonely on deployment and start relationships with people on the same ship. Usually they end once the deployment is over."

Nudging her with my shoulder, I said, "Okay, Vi." A flock of seagulls soared in front of us, and I added, "We all aspire to have what you and Meghan have."

"She told me she loved me yesterday."

Whipping sideways, I exclaimed, "She what? Vi! That's so – I'm so happy for you."

"I told her I loved her too."

I was elated. Vi deserved happiness, and I was simply thankful I got to see her relationship evolve with Meghan. While Vi was the same person I had grown up with, Meghan had shifted something in her, and watching Vi take her new form had been wonderful. My best friend was an inspiration, and I was lucky to have been given the chance to spend so many years by her side.

The thought of never seeing Vi again made my eyes burn. I would miss her – probably more than anyone. We were the two outsiders at recess who found each other and developed a bond that had been tried and tested over time, sometimes fraying but never breaking. We always found our way back together, each time a little stronger, and that connection was one to be feared, because nothing could fracture it.

"I'm really proud of you, Vi," I said.

"For what?"

"For being so brave all the time."