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ROISIN MCLOUGHLIN, clad in denim jeans and a short-sleeved t-shirt, pushed through the door to her apartment with her foot. both hands were full, one with a panini from starbucks, the other with her tote bag and now-cold take-away tea. a short meow alerted her to the cat at her feet, and she shuffled carefully into the kitchen as to not tread on her. baby, eager to see her mother, traversed the countertops before snuggling happily into roisin's arms, now empty of her belongings.
their cuddle only lasted for a few seconds, as the girl let the ginger fluff ball back to the ground to sniff her bag. the smile on her face fell as she heard her boyfriend from his room, humming to himself. it was a sound that would usually make her swoon, but the panini in her hand reminded her that they were about to have a conversation that might not end in the way she wanted. the way either of them wanted. hesitating, only for a second, she made her way down the hall.
knocking on his door, she waited for him to acknowledge her before opening it and walking in. he didn't seem to be streaming or talking to anyone but himself, as the only tab that was open was twitter, but she still silently asked with the mere pointing of her finger. and he shook his head, barely able to meet her eye for more than a second.
casting her gaze to the carpet, she lamely held out the food for him and felt as he took it, a small thanks leaving his lips. he didn't open it. he set it beside his keyboard and tried his hardest to look anywhere but at her. how everything had changed so quickly, she didn't know. but that night by the river and the star-like city lights felt like another universe compared to the still room and the cold shuffling of feet. her feelings hadn't changed - she still loved the man - but she was worried that his had.
"we should talk." she said. the words left her lips and corpse turned as white as a sheet. he didn't say anything. he turned in his chair to face her, finally meeting her worried eyes, if only to judge her feelings, try and anticipate what she was going to say. but he felt like he didn't know her anymore if what he suspected was true. "something's been off recently, hasn't it?"
axel swallowed, feeling a burn down his throat. clenching and unclenching his aching fists, he nodded, worried that if he spoke his racing heart would lurch up into his mouth.
"i'm not saying that it isn't me- i know i've been distant. you really should know why, but i can't... i can't exactly tell you. it's not something that's easy to say, i guess." she took a shaky breath, worried to make one wrong step. she had been stood still a year ago when olyvia took everything from her, so inching a toe out of place was guaranteed destruction. she would lose everything; lose him. "what i mean is that it's not my secret to tell. if the other person who- who i've been helping doesn't want me to say anything, i can't."
