My PERSONAL TRAINER

Chapter 14: Without Removing the Past

The notebook was full of things including many photos of me, she wrote when she began to realize my sexual preference even before me, back then i was 13 years old and the truth was that I didn't even know what I wanted at that age, but she did. Poom commented in his notebook that there was a 15-year-old boy who was always behind me, there was even a photo of the boy that I don't even remember. In his notebook he said that the boy wanted to take his place, that he wanted to protect me. But of course he could not allow it and that was the first time he began to remove people araund me.

Poom wrote that he had threatened the boy to tell everyone that he liked men and that he was a pervert who liked children, while he read he thought how a girl at that time of 12 years could have that mentality or how it came to be like. After that threat, the boy left and even changed schools.

She had a knack for finding people's weak spots and also easily managed to get people to trust her, a year later, with 14 I was experiencing things that she knew and I did not. It was written in her notebook that I watched Bright a lot, I got very close to him and that if I remember. When Bright came to school we collided by chance, he was in another class and it was a hallway that we ran into, we became friends and I started spending more time with him than with Poom or Mild. As the months went by, I also realized that felt something more for Bright than a simple friendship and when i thought of confessing to me he walked away. Poom knew about my feelings long before I did, in her notebook it said that I had been friends with him for two months and that Bright did not intend to be just a friend and that of course he would not allow him. It tells how I threaten him and how much I enjoy when he left me, since I took refuge in her and that was the trigger to drive everyone away. She wrote how I spend time finding secrets from my group of friends and according to her they all had something to hide. Over time she managed to get no one to approach me and began her plan tothat i look at her as a woman.

At 16 she started to sleep at my house and her goal was for us to be boyfriends before finishing school. I never realized her plan, for me she was the only one who was always with me. The day she got into my bed naked I turned 17 and that day she was supposedly drunk, but as I read it was part of her plan, she kissed me and without knowing what to do I just gave it back to her. I'm not going to deny that I had an erection, that night was the first time, she writes that her plan had worked, since she knew perfectly well that she would hold me responsible.

After reading other written things from school, I came across a recent page from a few weeks ago. She clearly said that I was weird and that she was afraid, apparently her fear was always that I discovered my sexuality and left her, that's why she always took care of playing in bed. She wrote what she already suspected, she knew about Mew.

She said that she regretted sending me to the gym and it was also written the day that she discovered me sleeping with him. That day I remember the issue of the door and indeed she was the one who left it like that, she wrote that she disgusted her and it was that same day that she began her plan.

The appointment at the mall was intentional and the photo was taken by her manger, the publication was made with a false account, she knew that it would end with her so she took out her acting skills and pretended to be understanding that day, but when she left she contacted A guy and she paid her to be in the gym, she knew I would show up, so she gave her a picture of me and left instructions to enter Mew's office as soon as she saw me show up.She also wrote her plan for her future on a sheet written a few hours before her murder, she commented that she wanted to stop being a model to ask me for marriage and go away from Thailand, she wanted to have children and a family with me. She also wanted to stop lying and being the person that she was. Nothing about her fame mattered to her anymore if I wasn't with her.

I could lie and say that I didn't cry, but the truth is, every word made me cry, Poom was just in love and that love turned into an obsession, then she got used to living that way and grew up with it, so I use it to get things. Seeing that she lost what she most wanted to maked the decision to change, but everything falls under her own weight and unfortunately Poom's were tons of things.

Even knowing what she was like, I won't let her memory dirty, so she should talk to the killer and also to Mew. But it will be after his funeral.

I spent all night reading and reading, celebrities kept many secrets, it come to me morning reading and I had to attend the funeral, so I went to Mild's house to change. He asked questions, but I told her that I would not answer anything, I will not let anyone else know.

The funeral was quiet, only his family was there and we, his mother thanked me for always being there for her daughter, we hugged and cried together. She told me that he would always be her child no matter where she is, I will call him if he needed her. When I finished I went back to my apartment and slept for a while.I woke up when the sun was setting I was very hungry after days without eating well. But he needed to clear everything up with Mew.