🖤Dark Society🖤 (YiZhan*ZhanYi) (Completed)

Fear to Feel

Seeing glass at his neck and imagining maybe I'm going to lose him forever terrifies me, only too many years ago had I someone to fear like this about and I can't let it to happen again. Anything, I can endure anything but not this. when he pulls me down, I stay quiet under him although it hurts but... didn't I hurt him more? First time in my life I let someone to treat me like this, cause I want him to realize, to admit and accept how much we're connected, that maybe it's only... death, able to separate us from each-other. we part and I know how much he struggles with himself now

"you need to leave her alone"

"I'll"

"you can never tell her about us"

"I won't" can you stop talking about her?

"I'll stay with you, but..."

"But" after all this dirty play finally I won but... why I feel nothing more than emptiness?

"Without feelings... more than this, there won't be anything more, you can have me, my body but..."

"I'll never ask you, to love me" enduring the sharp pain, I cover my body and climb on him. Zhan is still shivering and I ask, holding his chin "this was your first time just following instincts no? it's ok, you'll get used this very soon" 

"it was" He opens beautiful eyes and I shake, almost drowning in them, my stare moves down to his lips and he slightly parts them, more I look at him more I adore, but I can't..., I have to stop this feelings. placing my head on Zhan's chest I hold his hand and start playing with his fingers "your hand is funny tiny"

"Why don't you kiss?" he suddenly asks and I gasp, why I get strong will to share? to tell him everything? about my deep wounds, fears. I know about his hidden desire, while he knows painful part of my life, do we still need to keep something from each-other?

"Kiss... This kind of touches... Causes soft feelings and feelings...always brings pain along"

***

flashback

I'm thrown into dark room and door closes behind me, I climb up on it and start hitting with my tiny hands, does anyone can hear or help me?

"Please dad, please let me out, I'm so sorry, promise I'll never talk back, I'll do anything you want, I'll never cry again, please I'm too scared, they'll come again, they're going to kill me, please, please" I keep begging but it doesn't open, like always. crawling on the floor I hug my knees at the corner of room and close eyes, still I can see monsters coming out from every wall and slowly walk towards me, with fangs and red eyes, they're too close already but I have nowhere to escape, want to scream but can't let out any voice, it feels like they're choking me, my blood freezes from fear and I'm about to faint when someone holds me in tight embrace 

"it's ok Yibo, I'm here" she whispers and I'm able to breath again "you can open your eyes, they're already gone"

"do they? really?"

"mn"

"how did you come here?"

"I stole key from my mom"

"it's dangerous, they'll punish you too, please leave"

"I'll help you, to free yourself from this fear, look at me little Yibo" she cups my face and moves closer "in every darkness, there is always a little light, you just need to see it, I'll be your light in this dark world young master" I open eyes and she smiles, so beautifully it warms my heart. did I really find someone who can feel and share my pain?