Dominick Kinsey: PI (boyxboy)

Case 59: Open Wide Part 1

Man, I'm achey everywhere. The good kind of ache that comes from a great workout routine with a great bed partner. Speaking of bed partner... Ezriah pulled me into him resting his chin over my shoulder. I squirmed to get away, which only succeeded in me rubbing along a part of his anatomy that definitely was awake.

Ezriah let out a hss of air. He moved his lips close to my ear, so close I could just barely feel them touching the sensitive skin there, "Don't start something you're not planning on finishing."

The fuck? "Hey, who grabbed who?" I answered with barely contained irritation. Was it too early to go back to bed?

I rolled slightly out of his grasp so I could lay face down on the bed. My new goal: smother out the daylight with my pillow.

Ezi chuckled, low and deep. That chuckle did things to me. Why did I like him so much? I swore I'd never get into a relationship again after what happened last time. I didn't need that shit in my life.

"While you try to block out the world, I'm going to shower," Ezi declared. He pushed himself out of bed and I could vividly imagine him sauntering across the room, all too proud of his nakedness. Smug bastard.

Once I heard the shower running, I decided it was time to give up on the whole sleeping thing. It just wasn't coming to me and I couldn't deny the world's existence all day. No matter how much I wanted to do so.

I hopped out of bed and shimmied into a pair of loose fitting sweats. There's no point in really dressing yet because I definitely wanted a shower too. I had the briefest thought of going to join Ezi in there but... well, I wasn't sure if it would be welcome and I also think I needed the alone shower time to think. Think about all the recent changes in my life and if they were something I wanted. Something I needed.

Walking out to my kitchen, I decided it was time to make some breakfast. I got out some eggs, summer sausage, and bread and got to work cooking a hearty breakfast for me and Ezi. I was humming a merry tune as I put slices of bread in the toaster when I had a thought that stopped me cold... I was being fucking domestic. Shit, I was in deep with this and it terrified me. I could feel my pulse quicken and my breathing escalating. Felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Something that hadn't happened to me in years. I thought I was done with this shit. It took me so long after everything that happened...

I couldn't stop it.

I tried, but the panic and terror had me curling to a ball on the floor, food forgotten. I could dimly hear the sizzling of the sausage and eggs and smell as the meal started to burn, but it seemed so far away over the pressing horror swirling around inside of me.

"Dominick?" someone was calling for me. Then with more urgency and alarm, "Dominick!"

Ezi was in front of me, crouched down on the floor. Trying to bring me back from my panic.

After God knows how long, I was rescued from that place by Ezi. He had me sitting on the couch, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, while he took care of the mess I made in the kitchen. I pet the blanket, it was so soft. I wonder where it was in my house... maybe the closet. I don't know.

He came into the room holding two plates filled with toast, summer sausage, and eggs. So, maybe the breakfast wasn't a total loss after all? I looked at Ezriah in question and he got what I was trying to ask.

"The pan's toast, but there was enough stuff left to make more," he explained with a gentle smile handing me a plate. "Wanna eat here or go to your table?"

"I don't want to move right now," I confessed. It was supposed to come out melodramatic and whiny but ended up sounding hollow and exhausted.

"Want to tell me what happened?" It was said as gently as all of his actions this morning had been and I knew he'd be okay with whatever answer I gave him, even if it wasn't the one he wanted to hear.

It'd be so easy to say, "No," darn, I just said it. It was easy to say.

Ezriah's lips tightened briefly before he nodded his head and accepted my answer.

"But... I kind of want to tell you," I confessed.

He waited patiently for me to go on.

"I can't tell you all the details, I'm not ready for that yet, but I'll tell you what I can," I decided.

He nodded his head, letting me speak at my own pace.

"Believe it or not, I used to do relationships. I loved falling in love. I fell in love quickly and deeply, not unlike Romeo, who's a complete dipshit. I hope I'm at least not that stupid." Ezi cleared his throat to gently let me know I was going off on a tangent. Man, couldn't he let me delay this a little longer?

"Anyway, I didn't start my manwhoring ways until after him," I stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm glad you're sharing this with me," Ezriah stated, and I could tell he was exasperated with my explanation already, "but please don't call yourself a manwhore."

"Aren't I one?" I countered.

He just gave me a cross look.

I took a deep breath, meant to stall more than it was meant to calm me, "I loved him so much. Or, at least, I thought I did. As our relationship became more serious and we started thinking about the future, he became a little obsessive," now I did take a breath to calm myself down. It was a shaky stuttery inhale that made me feel like I was choking. I felt a drip of water on my hand and realized I was crying. Reaching up with my hand, I wiped my eyes.

"If it's too much for you, you don't have to tell me," Ezriah spoke gently. Why was everything about him so fucking gentle? So fucking perfect for me.

"No!" I shouted, a little louder than I meant to, "I need to do this," I was determined to lay it all out there so Ezi could see what a hopeless case I was and pack his bags before things got more... more of everything they currently already were. "I guess it would be an abusive relationship, if I needed to define it in simple words. He locked me up and nobody could find me, only him. And for awhile... for a while I let him do it because I was so, so afraid of what he'd do to me if I tried to escape. The unknown was scarier than the known. Until it wasn't."

"I escaped. The end."

There. Done. I didn't have to say anything about that anymore.

I looked up at Ezriah, and his mouth was slightly agape. He must have realized he was starting. Rude. He closed his mouth and quickly closed the distance between us, pulling me into a hug that made me feel safe. So safe. I stiffened in surprise, not expecting this reaction at all. Ezriah's hand was combing through my hair gently. "Let it out," was all he said, but the way he said it so full of understanding, compassion, feeling, goddamned loved, had me sobbing against him. Sobbing tears that were way overdue to fall. Tears that spoke of losing a part of yourself that no matter how hard you tried would never be exactly the same. Why did he want a mess like me?

"Shh,' he spoke gently, "none of that talk, now."

"Huh, must have said that out loud," I mused, sleepily.

"You did, baby," Ezi confirmed. "Take a nap. I'll be right here when you wake up," he spoke quietly, still stroking my hair.

I felt myself drifting until I felt nothing at all, lulled into a deep sleep from the safety of Ezriah's arms.