I could hear Ezi reacting loudly to something that was being reported on the news. It was bright and early and for some reason I was up already. I call that reason Ezriah Taylor. He insisted on staying over last night just so he could sleep next to me and he had to work early this morning. Which meant he needed to wake me up too, obviously.
I finished getting dressed and walked into my living room to see Ezriah sitting on my couch eating a bowl of cereal. Since when did I have cereal? I never even saw breakfast. He must have sneaked some food in here when I wasn't paying attention. Shooting him a glare I made my way over to the couch.
"The person in this story kind of looks like you," Ezriah offhandedly commented as he watched the story unfold.
Apparently there was a big problem happening to guys. And like Ezriah said, these guys all had a striking resemblance to me, for some reason. Anyway, these guys were victims of a suspected hate crime against gays. They were abducted, tied to a chair and tortured cruelly. The last thing that happened to all of them was getting their dick cut off. They were then dropped at a hospital with a cooler containing their dick and were able to have it reattached.
"That's fucked up," I commented, clearly stating the obvious. I mean, what kind of lunatic did that to anyone.
"Isn't it?" Ezriah agreed. "Don't you want to figure out who's behind this?"
Nope. "I haven't had anyone come to me about this case," I skirted around actually answering his question. Why would I want to find the person who was cutting dicks off of gay guys that looked like me? That was just asking for the same thing to happen to me.
"So... if someone came to you about the case you'd help?"
Fat chance of that happening. "Yeah, I guess," I answered with a shrug.
Ezi finished his cereal and threw his bowl in the sink. "Well," he bent down and kissed me, "I have to go. See you later."
As soon as he shut the door I stuck my tongue out at him. I had a feeling he was going to make my life difficult.
Derp rubbed my legs and licked my pants because he's a weirdo. He followed me down into my office and took his place on my desk while I went to flip the sign from closed to open. Might as well start this day early.
After hours of sitting with absolutely no one, Moira walked into my office. Before she could even open her mouth to speak I greeted her, "Get out."
She advanced towards my desk and plopped herself down in one of the visitor chairs. "I heard you're willing to help with this dicky situation."
I chuckled at her play of words before I realized what she said. "Damn you, Ezi," I muttered under my breath.
"That's what I thought," Moira crossed her arms triumphantly. "There's no way you would have agreed to do this case."
"So that's it?" I asked hopefully, "I'm not helping then?"
Moira plastered an evil smirk onto her countenance and I knew before she spoke that I wasn't going to be sitting on the sidelines much longer, "Oh, no, you're helping. When Ezriah offered your services to the chief he all but cried because he was so grateful."
Double damn. "So, I really have to do this?"
"Yup."
Damn it all to hell.
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