This chapter is about her after having a flashback and it is four weeks later.
Four weeks later
Reagan Point of view
Waking up after a Flashback
I woke up to the previous nightmares of my flashbacks I was having last night and I could not take seeing it all reappearing again anytime that I close my eyes the constant feeling of horror, scared and loneliness always creeping up onto me.
Every single days that I still have to relive the event of my kidnapper men tortured me and every single night I wake up screaming with night terrors , cold sweat also I am hoping someone can wipe that memory out of my mind at least I have family, friends and Cohen keeping me safe or supporting me.
"you are safe here with me and I got you Rea"he said reassuringly to me.I just want to scream to let it out, the pain , the anger , hurting and suffering from my kidnapping yet I can't move, scream or do anything that can help indicating to someone else who can understand me.
"I-I just feels so lost with myself"I said gloomily to him when trying to keep my tears at bay from falling down my face.I feel like drowning in the very bottom of the deep blue sea as I cry for my voice to be heard however with no such luck nothing comes out from my parched mouth in addition to the crack of my foundation is now starting to come tumbling down on me.
"Rea, there is always to be happy again but you just have to fight all this depression or sadness that is stopping you from being happy again"he said compassionately to me.He pulls me into his loving embrace and he didn't look at me like I was broken or with pity in his eyes moreover he looks at me how he always looks at me from when he first met me.
"I don't even know who I am anymore and I am sorry if I am bothering you with my emotional breakdown"I said dejectedly to him.I try again for the very last time to scream out loud with my voice but somehow my voice just keeps echoing back at me.
"You're this sweet loving, kind, funny, talented, amazing,beautiful, stunning, strong, independent woman ,you have the most kindest personality and heart that I ever known. One day we will live without fear with a cute labradoodle"he said most assuredly to me.This is when I know that I see a future with him in it, one future that I would only have with him and no one else.
I don't know why I was being so hesitant about us being together in the start when we are meant to be together forever no matter what the universe throws at us.
"Two children prefer a boy or a girl, a pickets white fence with a nice homely house, a warm fireplace where we can watch our children together and we can always dance under the stars together"i said dreamily to him looking up into his eyes.I will always choose him because he is my safe guard, safety net and he will always keep me sheltered from the raging storm that has been blasting all nights.
"You are my little shining stars because I came looking for many more opportunities in life but I saw you in the distance glowing so beautifully in your favourite party dress or outfit and from that day I always knew that love you"he said softly to me with blindly passion and quietly in his voice.He rocked me back and forward on my bed until he lays his back on my bed taking me with him as we laying there silently when he goes to press a button on the remote control the light in my room turn off around yet we LBs light brightly twinkle softly all around my room ceiling.
"How did you even manage to put up those fairy lights on my bed ceiling without me even noticing?"I ask bewilderedly to him.I am always in my room beside He couldn't have done it when I am sleeping because i am a very light sleeper it is a blessing then almost a curse and to thinking of it.
The only available time for him to put fairy light on the display in my room is when I went missing for a couple of days or even months.
"I find the time when you went missing up until the time I thought I almost lost you again" he said to me with purely sadness in his voice.I kiss on his nose,forehead, cheek and his face when caressing his face to help cheer him up.
"There.are you all better now?"I ask him hopefully smiling.He is groaned at me longingly to come back over to him and finish what I started when I kiss him.
"No you missed a spot and I want a proper kiss please come back over here because your kisses are my divine healing power"he said dramatically to me.I go in for one more kisses and we fumbled a little bit however he stopped us from going any further than this seeming unsure about it.
"Why do you stop?"I ask him sadly.I think once he see how truly I am broken and a small scar on my black that he wouldn't love me anymore or maybe I am just overthinking about this whole Scenario in my mind.
"Hey ,hey .It is nothing like that okay and I just wanting to make sure that you were ready for your first time"he said reassuringly to me.I don't know what to say so I shake my head no because I am still feeling pretty mess up and tired right now.
"Yeah,I am probably overthinking it"I said tiredly to him.He always seems to understand me when nobody else does even when the world does not make sense but somehow he makes it make sense when I am with him.
"Let just go back to sleep since we are both very tired" he said sleepily to me.I just wish the world would stop spinning so fast and I would rather lay here in his arms forever.
No looking back but only forward towards our future together.
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Queen of my heart (Completed)
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