Burnt Bridges || WillNE

/9\ the mess

It had been two days since Mitch had released what I looked like to the world. I hadn't gotten out of bed nor had I checked social media. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed to get my laptop, and considering I annihilated my phone the other night, checking my socials wasn't as easy as a tap of my thumb.

All of the boys had come over at one point or another to check on me. Tobi had brought flowers with Josh, Steven had come with Becky to try and cheer me up and make me laugh, failing, Ethan and JJ had come over to offer me a gym and boxing session to relieve anger and George and Alex were constantly trying to bring me food and get me out of bed.

It was all very nice, but I just wanted to be left alone. I felt exposed now, vulnerable, like I now had to walk on egg shells. People knew who I was, people would be able to see me in the street. I didn't want that, I never had. I had started YouTube as a bit of fun, I never expected it to pop off. But I took it in stride and went with it, making more high budget videos and my ideas getting crazier. I was able to do weird and wacky things because there were no consequences. I could do them without people questioning me a day, a week or months later. I was able to be me. And now I wasn't sure how to be me. I felt like a shell, a vessel for someone that should be there but instead was off in the clouds hoping this was all a dream. But it wasn't.

The one person who hadn't come over was Will. And I understood that, I really didn't mean what I had said and the way I acted, but I understood he was angry.

~
Sat under a tree I couldn't help but breathe quick and shallow. My heart was in my stomach and my head was thumping. Why would he do that to me? Everything was going to change. My life, my YouTube, my public imagine. What was going to happen?

"Rogers?" I voice came from next to me as the tall Geordie boy bent down. "It's going to be okay, we can fix this."

My rage consumed me. "How Lenney?! How exactly do you propose we can fix this huh? It's not your life that just got ruined!" I yelled

"Lass just calm down a bit yeah, it's not the end of the world," he replied, rolling his eyes.

I stood quickly and stared up at him, my cheeks red from anger, and damp from the drying tears that no longer fell. "Just leave me alone," I hissed as I turned away and started walking back to the house.

"No wait cmon talk to me about it, how is this a bad thing?" He said jogging to catch up to me.

"How is it not?! Not everything isn't sunshine and daises for everyone Lenney! Everything is ruined now! If you can't see that than you're selfish, this is your fault! I bet you love watching my life fall apart like this! I bet you wanted this all along you fucking asshole," I screamed, not able to control my words.
~

My thoughts were broken by my door opening, and I quickly shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

"I know you're awake," I heard Alex say before the bed shifted near my legs as the small boy sat down. My eyes fluttered open and I looked at him with an empty expression.

"Will asked me to give you this," he said, gesturing to a purple bag he was holding as he placed it on my bed in front of me. I quickly grabbed it and put it on the floor next to me.

"I'll look later," I mumbled, although I was very intrigued.

"Iz you have to get out of bed, it's actually giving me anxiety knowing you're in here practically wasting away. You've barely eaten and when was the last time you had a shower or bath?," he said sympathetically.

"I'm fine Alex," I said brushing it off, not answering his questions. I did feel a bit guilty. Alex and George had been trying their best, they'd made me breakfast, lunch and dinner the last two days and brought it in, but I'd had no more than a couple of mouthfuls.

Alex sighed in defeat. "Okay then, well try to eat something soon, and have a look the bag," he said as he walked to the door, shutting it after my quiet grunt in response.

Quickly I pulled up the bag from the ground and open it. In the bag is a new pair of glasses, and I laughed softly for the first time in days at the memory of Will tripping over my bag and crushing my old one, pants half way up is legs with a flustered look on his face. The glasses had a silver thin frame surrounding them in the shape of an octagon. Cute. Also in the bag was a brand new iPhone. I open the box with wide eyes and smile softly when I see the phone. It's got a matte black backing to it, with a bee engraved into it. Thoughtful. I put on my glasses, sighing with content after being able to properly see again finally, and lay back down, falling asleep quickly.

I wake with a jump after two people barge into my room and groan as my curtains are ripped open, the sun cascading in for the first time in days.

"I'm sick of this, I'm done watching you feel sorry for yourself!" George says with a raised voice, standing in front of the window with his hands on my hips.

"God fuck off just let me be!" I moan as I cover my face with a pillow, delving back into darkness.

"Nah fuck that," Harry says as he rips my covers off me and tugs the pillow from my face, leaving me in just a jumper and some cycling shorts. "You're being pathetic. Yes this sucks so hard, and it's going to be different, and at the start it might be terrible but fucking hell wallowing in your own self pity isn't going to make things any better!"

"It feels better though!" I retort, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"Does it really? Because the mascara stained pillows and the barely eaten plates of food says otherwise!" George bites back, ignoring my death glare I sent to him. "Get the fuck out of bed! We didn't all fall in love with you because you're a sulking mess," he says as he walks over to me, pulling me to stand in front of him. "We love you because you're the toughest, strongest, quick witted, intelligent and care free person going round, and you being like this sucks to watch."

I give him a half smile. I know he's right. What good is sitting and bathing in my own self pity doing me? Speaking of bathing, I should wash. I knew that the me during the last two days was not who I am. I had been through worse and come out better, and I would do it again.

Sighing I wrap my arms around George's waist. "You're right," I mumble into his chest as he bear hugs me.

"Obviously," he says with a smirk as he looks at me. "Now shower you smell horrid."

I scoff and play offended as he walks out, leaving me with Harry. I look over to him and smile, happy to know I have supportive friends who are willing to put me straight when need be, to tell me I'm being and idiot and put me back in my place and give me tough love.

"God you're a mess," he says as he wraps his arms around me. I push my face into his chest and sigh, feeling at home in his embrace. Kind of like a brother. Except we shagged.

"I know, I just don't know what to do," I mumble into him. "Help me?"

"Of course, we all will," he replies pulling away. He puts his hands on my shoulders and leans forward, face to face. "You can start by taking George's advice by showering you goblin," he laughs. "Then you could probably do with apologising to a certain someone," he says seriously as he lightly taps the frame of my new glasses that were still sat on my face.

I nod my head knowingly. I know I fucked up. I hadn't meant to blow up, but all my emotions were exploding, and it would've happened to anyone who was near me at the time. Why did it have to be him though?

"You're gonna need all of us around you, we are your family and it's going to be a bit rough. Not gonna lie, the reactions are mixed. But we can deal with that later, go shower," I says as he lightly nudges me towards my shared ensuite with George.

As I let the thousands of water drops soak up my skin, I scrubbed my self. I scrubbed hard, almost as I was metaphorically ridding myself of all the bad thoughts, as well as two days of bed body. My mind wandered to all my friends and how caring they were. There was no point anymore in being mad at Mitch, what's done it done. As I turned off the water and stepped out from the cubicle, I stood in front of the mirror eyeing myself up.

"Okay, let's do this," I told myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N
Holy crap a couple days ago I hit 100 reads and now it's almost 250! Thanks everyone for reading, so much love!
Don't forget to comment, I'm trying to improve my writing, and all the input helps ✌🏻