I woke up in my own bed, it was late and I rubbed my eyes before heading down stairs to see my mum in the kitchen.
'Hi sweetheart, you okay? Abel said that you took a hard hit at practice today.'
'Is he gone?' I asked trying not to look for him but I couldn't help it.
'Yeah baby, he brought you in, he didn't want to wake you. He said he had to get home to help his dad.' I bit my lip and nodded. 'You okay?'
'Yeah.' I smiled feeling a little emotional. 'I just...' I felt the tears welling. 'This sucks.' I mumbled and pushed the tears back. 'Anyway, are you working the night shift tonight?' I smiled and she looked at me with sympathy only for a moment because she knew I hated that.
'Yeah, I've made dinner, you just have to heat it up okay. I've got to go so I'll see you tomorrow afternoon when you get home.' I nodded and she kissed my cheek as she left and I felt so alone. This sucked. I went to my bathroom and showered before coming back down stairs and reheating my dinner, sitting out on the couch and eating while I watched some crime show. I went up stairs and did my homework before going back to sleep, I was sore from Kai's hit but I knew the sleep would help.
I woke up to my alarm and stumbled around getting ready for school before actually walking there, I swear my eyes were still closed. I headed for my locker and my mood perked when I saw Abel already there waiting for me.
'Hey, thank you for taking me inside yesterday, I was so tired.' I said and he looked up and nodded. A nod, I really hate when he just nods at me, total jackass sometimes.
'Cain!' I turned to see Aaron walking over with that handsome wide smile.
'Hey.' I grinned laying on the charm, fuck Abel if he wants to nod then fuck him right off today. 'I'm sorry about yesterday, tell me how your holiday was.' I smiled and he stepped quite close, I wasn't nervous about people being close if I liked them, if I didn't then I avoid it no matter what.
'It was good. Did you have a good holiday?' He asked his voice dropping a little, Aaron and I flirt but it goes no where, he knows that I'm pining and I know I'm not his type. Straight guys in the closet are his type, with the occasional out of the closet thrown in there for variety.
'It was okay, kind of lonely, I had to work a lot of it.' I mumbled and he reached out and started playing with the zipper on the bottom of my jacket when Abel put his hand on my shoulder and I turned to see no change in his expression.
'The bell's about to go.' He said and I nodded before turning back to Aaron with a sour face. He just smiled and pushed me off towards the direction of my class.
And so this was the process, I would spend my day trying to get Abel to react to me, then after school we would play football or I would go to work. Abel usually took me home on football days and then I would walk the nights I finished work. Friday night was our first football game of the season, it was easy, like smooth sailing or what ever, won by a mile no problem. The problem came after, we were heading for the bus when some girls stopped Abel. I watched him talk to them for a moment before he gave a tight smile and nodded, heading for the bus.
'What the hell.' I mumbled as I watched, strangers get a better reaction out of him than me? I sat in the window seat and glared out of it while he took the seat next to me and when the coach finally boarded we headed home.
'What's wrong?' Abel asked and I continued to ignore him, why is it no matter what I do I can't get a reaction out of him but some girl he's never seen before can get a smile? Pain struck through my chest. Because she's a girl you idiot. I felt the tears spring and wiped them away quickly. 'Why are you crying?' I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain in my chest while I ignored Abel. 'Are you hurt?' He asked and I closed my eyes before caving and rolling to rest my head on his shoulder as I cried silently. 'Where hurts?' He asked and I pointed to my heart. 'Your chest?' Idiot.
I cried all the way home, a two and a half hour drive, everyone else was passed out and my sobbing was too quiet to hear anyway. I wiped my face before standing up and getting off the bus.
'I'll take you home.' Abel said as he grabbed my bags off the bus and started heading for his truck. I went to get in the passengers side but he closed my door before I could get in and pushed me up against it. He pulled my shirt up and inspected my chest. 'You look like you have some bruises but they're not that bad, are you okay?' He asked and I pushed my shirt down.
'I'm fine.' I said quietly and he stood there staring at me for a long time before walking back to his own side and taking me home. I just want him to notice me, or at least flat out say he likes girls. He pulled into the drive and turned the truck off. 'Thank you, I'll see you Sunday.' I mumbled before getting out and grabbing my bags, heading inside. He didn't start the truck up until I had the door open and he didn't leave the drive way until I'd gotten inside and closed the door. He's a really great guy. So why am I letting myself be cut up about him not wanting me? I'm a reasonably good looking guy, I can get a date, and maybe if I get a date I won't be so attached to Abel anymore.
As I showered I thought about it, my whole life I'd cut myself off from anyone else, any other possibility, for him. And he doesn't even know I'm here. Maybe it's time to look for someone else, someone else that can give me what I want, who I don't have to watch every single second to see if I got a reaction out of them, someone who talks about their feelings.
