Dishonoured 🌿 Book 2.5

Moving Forward

Distracted wouldn't begin to describe the state Aidan was in that evening. He was disengaged from the conversation they held back at Sam's, at best. He drove with little attention for anything besides the road. He was so absorbed, it didn't sink in right away that Noah and Eli were chatting merrily for most of the trip. He didn't think they would click s well as they did; mind you, Eli was doing most of the talking, but that Noah replied at all was astounding to him.

Cain and Sam were in the car behind them. He volunteered readily. Though well masked, Aidan caught Noah's brief disappointment. It was an unwelcome reminder of his former—Aidan hoped—obsession.

Aidan understood that by reading his journal, he was walking headfirst into potential unsavoury knowledge, but after four years of being two steps behind him and far too many weeks of believing he had lost Noah's trail for good, the opportunity for answers or insights was too good to pass up. He wouldn't do anything different, if he had the chance. On the other hand, oh what he would give to forget.

Noah had gotten better about all the staring, but he was far from over Sam, or Cora, or whatever was going on in his mind. Aidan understood completely what he saw. Aidan still got a chill from time to time when her likeness to Cora would strike him—usually when she had her hair down after it was braided, making her natural waves even deeper. There were obvious differences between them, but sometimes the line blurred.

Aidan didn't know Cora well. He had only met her twice, and the second time definitely did not count. Petrified evergreen eyes rolled to him as he raced toward them. Noah's head snapped up, blood and a string of flesh streaming from his bared fangs. He backed off her, snarling so loud Aidan's ears ached. He didn't stop. He tackled Noah as he made to retreat and wrestled him to the ground. Claws tore at Aidan's thighs, his arms, but he didn't relent. Noah's cold eyes were entirely unfamiliar. Aidan couldn't begin to estimate the time it took for humanity to bleed back in. Eventually, Noah stilled, and he heeded Aidan's demand to shift back that he had been shouting in his ear for ages, it seemed.

At last, Aidan was able to get over to her. He had suspected long before he assessed her that there would be nothing he could do, and he was right. There was barely any skin left of her belly. Entrails were strewn across the lush forest floor. Aidan could see no way to assist. Cora wasn't long for this world. Shock rendered her silent, able only to stare at him, to pour into him all her terror and ire and blame. Then her bloodshot eyes rolled up as she convulsed a few times, falling utterly still.

And then he was running.

Blinking hard, Aidan at last noticed the silence. Sam, Cain, Noah, and Eli were all a dozen or so steps ahead, staring at him with concern. He didn't remember stopping, or even what they were talking about. He had completely gone somewhere else for a moment, or perhaps longer. Aidan shook off the lingering sorrow and nausea and stretched out his clenched hands.

"Sorry, let's go."

One by one they carried on, but Sam was the last to turn. Her piercing stare narrowed, lips pursing a bit. Aidan tried to give her a reassuring smile, but he doubted it translated that way.

He was glad to be alone in his clearing, able at last to scrape his hair back and out of his eyes as he let out some of his tension on a hard sigh that turned into a thick cloud in the air. Snow crunched under his feet as he paced in a circle. The scene was burned into the back of his eyelids, but when his eyes were open he could hear the echo of her bloodcurdling screams that reached him in the field where he had been reading.

Tense coiling in his chest told him he needed to prepare or he was going to be driving home naked. His anxiety was out of control, the change forced upon him by his other's instinct for survival. His skin was crawling as he bound his things to a bough and leaned his shoes against its trunk. He fell to his knees as the first sharp snaps began in his tense fists.