Psyche

Chapter Twenty-Two

In Canem, we have a saying: "Mors ultima linea rerum est." Roughly translated into English, it reads something akin to 'everything's final limit is death.'

My final limit. August's. Everything can go further until it kills you.

I can't seem to push hard enough for the one thing I want.

***

The tinkling of the fountains filled the silence as I stared at the waters reflecting the dying sun back at me. My companion, the lovely feline Agria, wound between my ankles, the purrs within her sending tingles up my legs. She was a welcome calming influence. Today I'd taken a blow meant from my father from a High Demon. I could barely move. Leaving my rooms today, standing here, watching another day fall, was making me depressed. I ached all over. My father hadn't come to see me. He hadn't even allowed me to take reports from my officers. I was injured, not an invalid. Maybe he'd find another son to love.

I sat down, sighing, feeling my spine bend painfully. I'd fallen from thirty feet. Something must have been watching over me. Even the demons were impressed.

I think Father hates me. And that's not even the worst part. The worst part is no one will even try to deny it. They won't even give me the satisfaction of being angry at them for lying to me.

I should just stay on campaign. After I heal, I'll go back to the front lines. Maybe Father won't have so much trouble then.

Maybe he won't have trouble ever again.

I smell some sharp scent, and lift my head. Out of the shadows slinks a Canem, a noble woman, judging by bearings and dress. Sabina, I think she is named. Lady Sabina. There are so many elegant noble women; it is hard to remember all of their names. Lady Sabina is somewhat unique, as she chose not to join the military. She spent her days acquiring wealth, employing people in good jobs, the like. My father admires her determination.

I haven't spoken to Sabina before, but my mother probably has. I don't know much, apart from what I've heard from my parents, my sisters. She's not completely orthodox, but she likes tradition. She's an empowering figure for lots of Canem, especially those who don't want to join up.

My body is pleading for me to ignore custom and wave my responsibilities to Sabina, but my father always taught me to be courteous to the woman around me. I didn't have to show formal respect, not to Sabina, because she was technically lower, but my father would want me to, and Mama would like it if I would.

I stood, my body bending painfully, and began to kneel, feeling my legs shake. I felt like I could collapse, and I think I did. Sabina caught me and sat me on the edge of the fountain, her voice calm and cool, a welcome break from the pain.

"Shh." She murmured, smoothing the hair back from my eyes. My arms shook as I clenched the edge of the fountain. Pain made me bite my lip to keep from crying out. "Don't push yourself, Meum Principem. You should take better care of yourself. You're too young to know your limits."

The throbbing in my head subsided for a bit, and I let out a deep, strained sigh. I was so tired. I raised my head to meet Lady Sabina's eyes, "You shouldn't waste your vis on me."

"You're in pain." She said, "It's fine to say you're in pain. I won't think of you any less, Phoenyx. You've been through too much to do so. Why does your father send you into battle so young? You're not old enough."

"My sisters go into battle." I looked away, feeling my face grow warm, "All the women get to go into war."

"But you're not a girl Phoenyx. You're just not ready." Sabina touched my cheek, giving me a sad smile, "It's just how it is sometimes with the boys. They're just not as powerful as us."