I can't bare to open my eyes. I'm a waste of space on this World so why would the World want me to look at it? It would burn form the deformed eyes of mine! Instead, I decide to feel around me- I'm good at guessing so my hopes are to find out where I am as my bedroom smells nothing like this and my parents wouldn't want to put me anywhere on their newly bough, expensive furniture. I take my first guess- the hospital. There was no need to examine any further. One footstep after another, someone is walking towards me.
"Ah, hello Mrs. Carter! I'm Dr. Khan." a deep, manly, clear voice rings in my ears as I lay there still, not daring to move.
"Hi, nice to meet you." I hear my mother stand up. Ugh she's putting on her 'public speaking' voice! "I've been ever so worried about Amber, she's only 14 and stuff like this is already happening.." haha. Yeah right, she's been worried! That is the funniest lie I've heard in a week. I twitch my nose and suddenly feel as if a whole stadium is gazing at me from above.
*Too late now Amber! Gonna have to open your eyes* I think to myself and before you know it the lights of the hospital ceiling are blinding me. Usually - in movies you see teenage girls being happy about waking up because they've got a whole life ahead of them and their faultless boyfriend is already standing there with a gorgeous bouquet of roses. No, not me. I was dreading it.I stare at the doctor, not facing any of my so-called family. He glances at me and as if reading my mind he caries on talking to my mother just like nothing happened.
"You see, your daughter.." at that point I get the filthiest look form my mother before she carries on listening and nodding to Dr. Khan. "..suffers from depression and relentless anxiety. Now before you ask for the cure.. I'm afraid there isn't one. The stage your daughter's at is 5 which sadly isn't curable. Amber will stay with this diagnosis for 'till her death bed although it may get better at some points in life." he finishes with a deep sigh- I can understand him.
"Oh right.. Do you think I could have a little chat with you in your office?" now my mother actually sounds concerned about my health or anything to do with me.
It's a couple weeks later now, and I'm back home. Sat on my bed again making yet another plan for the big clean- my room has gotten so disordered in the past few months that it's a real hassle finding a sock. I hadn't had a panic attack since 2 weeks ago when I was rushed into hospital which is always a relief! I also went back to school 3 days ago as I missed about three and a half weeks. My current favourite lesson is science. The teacher I have is called Neil Johnson and I have to admit he's not that bad:'). The only other entertainment was signing up to a new dating website called 'Meet Me' and I'm already talking to a few boys that seem really interested in me. The only reason I did it was to get my mind of my panic attacks and anxiety and obviously my obnoxious family! There's this boy Thomas Belton that seems like a really pleasant guy started talking to me yesterday- already asked me on a date. I walk over a bridge of books piled on top of each other to my calender.. 26th..26th.. Ah! Here it is, my date is tomo- it's tomorrow!! Oh I don't have nothing to wear but I guess after the hospital I'm always in a 'I don't give a fuck' mood so might as well wear skinny jeans and a hoodie.
*Funny one Amber! In order to find jeans and a hoodie you have to clean your bloody room! Never know, might find an Iphone 6 down here* I stutter under my breath and start cleaning..
YOU ARE READING
A Photographer in the Dark.
TerrorA touching story about a 14 year old Amber suffering from severe anxiety and depression. Signing up to a dating site has really helped her mood as being the 'new kid' in the Northampton High School isn't easy. She falls in love within seconds but...
