A Photographer in the Dark.

Chapter 8.

It's All My Fault.

As Louise drops the phone on to the hard, wooden floor silence takes over the room. I feel my heart rise up to my throat and struggle for breath, I try ever so hard to control it, I can't leave Louise alone in this.

"He- he's in the hospital after a--" Louise breaks off there and I don't need to ask no more, he got in a car accident. We stand up at the same time and as if we were machines, make out way towards the front door, not caring about any coats or jackets.. Nothing.

It seems like forever until we reach Sonny's ward and see him lay motionless. Louise throws her arms around him, while I stand in the door way, clutching my fists- it's all my fault, it's all my fault. The phrase is ringing in my head- the words printed out black on white.. It's all my fault, it's all my fault. Slowly I make my way out into the corridor of the empty hospital, but before i know it, I get dragged my soft hands "Where are you going darling? You can't leave all by yourself, not when Sonny's like that! Hear, take a seat" it was Louise again. I thank her, but the words are still ringing. Before I know it I say them out loud but the doctors and Louise were denying it after every word I spoke.

When I wake up the next morning, I'm back in Sonny's room. Expecting to be alone, I stretch and yawn with my eyes shut tight, unable to face the reality when I suddenly hit a warm, muscular body. I jump up, but all I see is Sonny smiling up at me, his eyes glistening in the sunshine.

"I thought you were in hospital? Me and your mum went to see you last night.. We were told you were in a car crash!"

"Not exactly.. But i was brought back home about an hour ago- it's now 1pm so you've been sleeping for a while. Tell me, what do you dream of?" Sonny's soft voice is like melody, beautiful melody- so persuading and reassuring.

"Oh, ugh.." I remember the dream I had a while ago, back in my old house and shudder. "I had a dream about going to Hollywood and walking on the red carpet as men in black coats take pictures of me. Later I see them over the news papers, the television and the social media. I became so famous and rich- no one would ever dare to hurt me or my lov-" I stop as soon as I realize what I'm talking about. "I didn't mean to say all that.."

Sonny sights deeply, sounding disappointed "Amber, those nightmares you've been having about the incident at your old house.. Well, you talk in your sleep so I couldn't help but know. The man in the red uniform does exist and claims to know you as a close family friend and wants to know where you're sheltering at the moment. I obviously didn't say a word about it.. I told him to fuck off and leave you alone. Can you guess how this happened?" he lightly takes hold of my hand and brushes it over the dried cuts on his face.

"Oh Sonny, you shouldn't have done that! I knew it was all my fault!!" I think I said it too loud, as I now hear footsteps coming up the stairs, then a soft knock on the door and then Louise's face appears in the door way. She asks if everything is okay and we both reassure her- but it's not really. It's never okay when I'm around.