Light Of My Life

Dull Colors

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Words: 1,307

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"No, of course, take all the time you need," Hotch speaks into the phone, nodding a little as he does. He sighs slightly but his face shows no other signs of how he's feeling. "Give her my condolences." With that and a mumbled, "Bye," Hotch hangs up the phone and slides the device into his pocket. He takes a second before leaving his office to join the team at the round table.

"Reid won't be joining us for this one," He tells them all while taking his seat, purposely looking down at the case file when all heads and confused, worried expressions turn to him. "He's fine." He says before they can question him and he nods pointedly towards Garcia. "Let's focus on the case."

"Right," The blonde nods, her lips still turned down in a worried frown. But she stands despite this and clicks the remote, pulling up the pictures for their latest case.

*********

"Hey," Spencer whispers softly from behind Devyn, his hands moving to rest on her shoulders. "It's time to go. You ready?"

"Not really." Devyn mumbles, voice quiet and blank.

"No, that was a stupid question," Spencer says more to himself than to her. "No one is ever ready for something like this." He tells her, hands moving up and down her arms now. "And that's okay, you're not expected to be."

"Let's just go," Spencer nods and Devyn tries to walk away but he doesn't let her without first taking her hand into his own. He squeezes, smiling a sad, tight smile when she squeezes back.

The cemetery isn't full. Karina had lost contact with all of her friends after meeting her husband and she never made new ones after they married. Her parents have long since passed and being an only child left no other close family.

Devyn herself doesn't know many people. She could never make any long-lasting relationships when she was young. And through her first years of college, she was...reckless, for lack of a better word. Anyone she met then wasn't worth staying in contact with. After she got herself together, she'd been so focused on her studies that she hadn't even made an effort to meet people.

Richard was the first person she'd made some kind of friendship with. Despite his slight callousness when they first met, she'd continued to be nice..tried to create a relationship. She had been lonely for so long, she'd realized then that she wanted other people in her life. People she knew, people who knew her. Not just people that would walk past her on the street.

And then Spencer came along. After everything, she hadn't wanted to let the chance to get to know him slip away. So, despite the anxiety coursing through her entire body, she had taken a chance in giving him her number. And she's glad every day that she did.

She's been getting to know his friends, the team, more too. Morgan most of all. Devyn had never had any siblings but she's always dreamed about having an older brother. One who would always be there, love her, protect her. And somehow over the time that they've known each other, he's filled that gap in her life. But despite this, she doesn't want him, doesn't want any of them, to know.

So the cemetery isn't full.

The ceremony is short. Devyn hadn't wanted to drag it out. She'd picked her mother's favorite flowers. The colors help light up the dreary day though Devyn can't help but think that they look duller than she remembers.

Devyn feels sick by the end of the funeral. She just wants to go to bed, try to sleep this feeling away.

She doesn't release her hold on Spencer's arm as the couple turn away to leave. But before she can process her movements, her feet suddenly become stuck. It happens so fast, Spencer stumbles slightly, her hold on his arm only tightening.

"Dev?" He questions the young woman, eyebrows furrowed but she doesn't meet his gaze. Her eyes continue to stare past him and Spencer follows her sightline to see a man standing on the edge of the cemetery.

For the longest time, Devyn's only felt fear when she thought of her father. She can't remember a time where she wasn't scared of him. Though she likes to think that there was a time that they were happy. Where her mother and her father truly loved each other, loved her. But if that was ever true, it hasn't been for a long time.

She'd hoped after he went away, she'd never see him again. Hoped, though she knew the time would come. She just hadn't seen it going like this.

Devyn had thought that fear would come back tenfold when she laid her eyes on him again. But it's almost like it all floods out of her system and a boiling rage takes its place. It's hot under her skin like fire, melting the figurative ice holding her in place.

Devyn releases her hold on Spencer and pushes herself forward. Her feet pound on the wet grass under her feet. She doesn't hear Spencer call after her in confusion before quickly following. All of her focus is on the man that murdered her mother.

Maybe that's why she's able to do it. The grief she feels for losing the only parent that ever cared for her. The knowledge that Spencer and Richard, the two people she feels safest with, are only just behind her.

As soon as she's close enough, Devyn's arm flies out, her palm connecting with her father's cheek. His head doesn't as much as flinch to the side but he doesn't try to stop her either. The blank look on his face doesn't falter for a second and it only makes Devyn more upset. She hadn't realized she'd been crying until that point.

Devyn is unable to form words. She isn't sure if there are any to express how she feels about the man in front of her. But it doesn't matter. Spencer reaches her side then, having picked up his pace. He ignores Devyn's father and pulls her away from him quickly, starting them towards her car.

Devyn gasps for her breath but doesn't fight against Spencer. She willingly goes with him, climbing into the passenger seat when he opens the door for her.

"Devyn-"

"Please just drive," Devyn whispers, cutting Spencer off and he nods, complying with her request.

The ride is silent. Devyn can see Spencer glancing over at her every few seconds but she doesn't say anything. She's out of the car as soon as it's parked and she starts towards the apartment building but she stops, waiting for Spencer to reach her side before entering the building.

Spencer is the last one in the apartment. He closes and locks the door behind him and watches Devyn with pursed lips.

"I don't want to talk about it," Devyn speaks before he can even ask and he nods. "I just- I don't...I don't feel good."

"I know," Spencer whispers and steps forward, wrapping his arms around her in hopes to bring her some comfort. "Want to lie down?" Devyn nods against his chest and Spencer kisses her hair before moving them both into the bedroom. He nudges Devyn to sit and removes her shoes for her before they both climb under the covers but neither manages to fall asleep.

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1. Funerals are always sad...Devyn had a moment there. Seeing her father after all this time. And she slapped him. You go girl.
2. Spencer is stil by Devyn's side. She isn't sure she could do it without him or Richard. Both the amazing men in her life.
3. But I once again bring it up. Devyn's father has shown himself...I wonder what this means for the future.
4. The team knows something's up...and you know how curious they can be.

I think that's all I have to say for now. Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing! It makes me so happy and excited to keep posting this story. Someone apologized to me just the other day for leaving a long review and I would like to say, the longer the review the better. But that's not to say I don't enjoy the simple ones either. They're all amazing and I appreciate every letter and every second it took to type it. Thank you guys so much! You're all amazing!

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