Light Of My Life

Secrets

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This is where I warn you to savor the good things.

Words: 1,098

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No matter how many times we tell ourselves we're ready for something, it doesn't make it any more so. Devyn had been working up the nerve to tell Spencer that they were going to have a baby for...longer than she'd like.

But she ends up getting a reprieve when the team is called away on a case. She never thought she'd be so relieved about that.

But of course, life goes on and she still carries this knowledge on her shoulders. Though JJ knows, it's still a heavyweight. And of course a certain someone just has to notice.

"You look like you saw a ghost," Richard tells her blandly but Devyn only looks out her window, jaw clenched. "Seriously, kid, what's up?"

"Um," Devyn hesitates. She can't tell anyone else before she tells Spencer! That's just not right. He's the father of the child, he deserves to know first. "I'm fine, I'm just-"

"Pregnant." Richard cuts her off, his eyebrows raised but his expression otherwise blank.

"How'd you know that?" Devyn blurts out, all thoughts of denying it exiting her brain when it's flooded with surprise. How did he-

"You forget I had a daughter," Richard answers. It's been easier, thinking about, even talking about Sam since Devyn found out. It's not as painful anymore. He never thought it would be so easy to smile about her memory and he's beyond grateful that she helped him get to this point. His daughter's ghost doesn't haunt him anymore. "And a wife. I remember all the weird pregnancy symptoms."

"How long have you known?" Devyn continues, completely oblivious to the thoughts running through her partner's mind.

"I suspected," He corrects. "For about a week, I guess."

"And you didn't think to say anything?"

"I knew you'd figure it out eventually," He shrugs and Devyn scoffs. "So, uh..." Richard trails off and Devyn would've laughed on any other occasion. She's never seen him speechless before.

"I'm scared shitless," She states bluntly. "But...I'm also happy. It's just...I bought fish because I thought anything more would be too much. Spencer's gone a lot for work, I'm out here, running around all day. How does a baby fit into that?" She questions but doesn't really expect an answer. Despite this, she gets one.

"People have kids with busier schedules," Richard shrugs as she raises her eyebrows at him. "Just saying." He mutters before sighing. "Look, kid, if anyone can do this, it's you. And I might not know Spencer all too well, but I know he's a good one. He'll do what it takes to take care of both of you."

"Yeah," Devyn mumbles with a small nod. He's not wrong there. Devyn has no doubt that Spencer will do whatever it takes to raise and protect their child. "...He doesn't know yet."

"Miller," Richard sighs and rubs his eyes but Devyn holds up her hand.

"I haven't gotten the chance to tell him," Not exactly true but...he doesn't need to know that. "I just found out for sure and he got called away on a case. Learning you're going to be a father isn't news to learn in a rush or over the phone."

"True," Richard admits. "Don't worry if he freaks out. I did."

"Thanks for the advice?" Devyn says slowly, her words coming out like a question.

"It didn't mean I was any less happy about becoming a father." He assures her and Devyn sits back. She's glad he told her that because if Spencer does freak out, she knows she'll freak out and that won't be a good time at all.

"Are you excited about..." Devyn clears her throat, really debating her next words carefully. For the first twenty-one years of her life, Devyn never knew what it was like to have a father. A father that loves his daughter. Protects her, cares for her. Is everything that a father should be. But when she met Richard, that changed. "Being a grandfather?"

Richard stares ahead but Devyn can see the way he fights off a smile. But when he does finally turn to look at her, he frowns. "How old do you think I am?"

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Chewing her lip, JJ looks away from Spencer who's studying a map of their surroundings, and down to her phone. Her thumbs move quickly as she types out a text before hitting send. She knew the moment she saw Spencer that Devyn hadn't told him. And honestly, she doesn't blame the girl, it can be hard, even if you're excited about it.

And JJ has no doubt that Devyn is happy, despite her easy mood changes. But the poor girl's anxiety doesn't mix well with the new hormones. She's a ball of mood swings that's been lit on fire right now, it's understandable. JJ would know, she's been there.

"Everything okay?" Looking up to see Rossi standing next to her, JJ smiles a tight-lipped smile and nods with a hum.

"Everything's fine."

"Okay," David says slowly, disbelief clear in his voice. JJ sighs and huffs a laugh.

"It's okay, really," She assures him. "It's a friend, I'm helping her with a decision." Not the exact truth but it's good enough, she reasons. And it seems to satisfy the man enough for him to leave it alone.

Making a short trip to get coffee for those team members at the police station, JJ hands Spencer's to him and he excepts it quickly, smiling his thanks. "How's it going?"

"Good," Spencer nods and points to his markings on the map before shooting into his explanation of them. But JJ only half listens, most of her attention on other thoughts.

Her best friend is going to be a dad. Spencer has wanted a family of his own for a long time, she's known even before he ever admitted it. And she couldn't be happier for him, if anyone deserves this, it's Spencer.

"JJ?" Reid's voice pulls the blonde from her head and she inhales sharply, blinking up at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," She answers truthfully. "Are you?"

"Great." Spencer smiles and nods before turning back to the board. Yeah, JJ thinks, they're going to be just fine.

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1. Yes, Richard is old enough to be a grandfather, he's just in denial.
2. That moment between Devyn and Richard! So cute, I love them so much!
3. I love how JJ and Richard knew before Devyn that she was pregnant lol
4. Sooo, Devyn hasn't told Spencer yet...yikes. JJ is having trouble acting normal around him. Even if she has kept things from him before, this is a big thing to keep secret, you know?
5. So many of you guys have said you're excited for Spencer's reaction. I'm excited for you guys to see it as well. (Is see the right word when you'll be reading it?)

Thanks for reading! I want to know what your thoughts on this chapter and things to come!

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