Light Of My Life

No Regrets

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Words: 1,405

__________

"Spencer, I'm fine,"

"No, you're not," Reid tells Devyn bluntly. But his face softens and he sits on the couch next to her. "I'm sorry. But...you need to talk about this. I can't just sit by and watch you dig yourself into a deeper hole." He's afraid it'll turn into a grave soon enough.

"What do you want me to say?" Devyn whispers her question, eyes staring down at her hands.

"What've you been writing in that?" Spencer gestures towards her journal lying on the coffee table. He could easily just read it but he would never without her permission. "It doesn't matter what you say or where you start. But you can't hold this in anymore. I'm begging you to please talk to me."

"I don't understand," Devyn admits with a small shake of her head.

"Don't understand what?"

"How he could...do what he did," Her words are slow, her eyes distant. Spencer purses his lips and shifts closer to her, taking her hand in his.

"Devyn, your- Elias..." Closing his eyes, Spencer sighs. He hates to say this but it's the truth and she needs to hear it. "Elias was a psychopath. His brain, it...it wasn't normal. He didn't think like us. He was incapable of feeling emotions like we do. It's not that he didn't love you, it's that he couldn't."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," A tear follows Devyn's words. The young woman sniffs and wipes her face.

"Yeah, I didn't think it would," Spencer mumbles and pulls her into his side.

"He told me I was like him," Devyn mumbles, her head resting under Spencer's chin.

"You're not," He's quick to assure her, his hand running up and down her arm comfortingly.

"Aren't I in some way?" She wonders aloud. "I mean, I'm happy he's dead. What kind of a person is happy their dad is dead? Doesn't strike me as normal."

"Nothing about what's happened is normal," Spencer moves his hand from Devyn's arm up to her hair. He places a kiss to the top of her head before sighing. "I'm happy he's dead too. What you're feeling, it's completely reasonable."

Devyn is silent for a moment. She glances down at her head and forces herself to speak. "I'd understand if you-...if you changed your mind."

"About what?" Spencer questions while sitting up a little straight, turning his head to look down at her.

"Being with me," It's not her talking, not really. Spencer knows that. It's everything that's happened recently. The weight of it pressures those insecurities she's worked so hard to bury over the years back to the surface. But he won't let them take control.

"You see this?" Lifting her left hand, Spencer points to the ring resting on her finger. "That means forever. I knew that the moment I gave it to you. And I know we haven't said our 'I do's yet, but...before I even bought this ring, I knew that no matter what, I would stand by your side. For better, or for worse. I don't, and never will regret making that decision."

"You're a helpless romantic, you know that?" Sitting up, Devyn twists to face Spencer and moves to straddle his lap. She cups the back of his neck before bringing her lips down onto his. "And you're so good. Sometimes I think you're too good for me."

"Funny," Spencer mumbles, his hand coming up to push a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I think the same about you."

"We'll just have to agree to disagree then," Devyn says before connecting their lips once more.