Regrets (Complete)

Prologue

"Master Tenzin? Did you hear me?"

The world was moving in slow motion as a sharp ringing filled Tenzin's head. He stared at the healer, the words not quite sinking in. He blinked rapidly, trying to focus on what he was saying.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry. The baby didn't make it."

"No."

"Master Tenzin, you really shouldn't go-"

The words were cut off as Tenzin pushed past him and into the room they had brought Lin. He immediately froze in place, his face paling at the sight that greeted him. There were four different healers surrounding Lin as she lay unconsciousness in a pool of blood. He didn't fight back as he was ushered back out the door.

"We're doing everything we can to save her, but... but there's a lot of damage."

Tenzin felt the strength in his legs falter as he collapsed into a nearby chair. This wasn't right. How could everything have gone so horribly wrong? Resting his elbows on his knees he buried is face in his hands as his entire world threatened to break apart.

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"Lin, please let me in."

She didn't move from her spot on the floor, her back resting against the slab of earth she had used to barricade the bedroom door. She hugged her knees to her chest as she stared at nothing, lost in the void of her own thoughts. She had never felt such grief but it was the irrational feelings of guilt that felt like they might destroy her very soul.

She didn't even want kids.

It's what she had told herself for as long as she could remember. She didn't want to be a bad parent, didn't want to make the same mistakes her own mother had made.

And yet.

The first time she had felt the unique flutter of a new heartbeat growing within her she had never wanted something more. Or so she thought....

Maybe if she had just wanted her more... she'd be alive.

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The first time Lin emerged from the bedroom Tenzin nearly let out a breath of relief. He didn't say a word as he stood before her, giving her the space to make the first move. She silently walked to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. He felt a lump growing in his throat at her warmth, carefully putting his arms around her.

"Lin..."

"Just hold me."

He pulled her closer to him, burying his face in her hair as he felt her silent tears sink into the front of his robe. They just stayed there, grieving for their lost child.

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They tried. They really did. They tried to go back to normal. Tried to fall back into their easy banter, to their soft touches, to their love. But days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and it was obvious that things could never be the same again.

"I'm not having this argument with you again, Tenzin."

"It doesn't have to be an argument! Not if you'd just talk to me, Lin!"

She huffed at him as she made herself a cup of tea. He carefully walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle and resting his hands on her stomach. She stiffened but didn't say anything.

"I know we'll never be able to replace the one we lost but could try ag-"

Lin violently pushed him away as if he had burned her. She whipped around to face him, angrily smashing her teacup onto the ground as her face reddened.

"I DON'T WANT TO TRY AGAIN! I NEVER WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN, LEAST OF ALL WITH YOU!"

The words cut through Tenzin like a blade. He took a step back, closing his eyes and taking a steadying breath. It seemed like a lifetime before he opened his eyes and looked to her again.

"This isn't working, Lin."

His words were like a slap to the face.

"Tenzin, please..."

Her voice trailed off as she waited for the blow to come. She knew it was coming. It had been coming for months, she just didn't want to face the reality of it.

"I think... I think it's time for us to...."

He stammered over the words and Lin rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Grow a spine and just say it, Tenzin."

"I think it's best that we end this relationship."

He felt a piece of his already broken heart fracture further at the look on her face. Devastation was the only word for it and is tears welled in her eyes he thought maybe he could take it back. That they could work things out. No words came out, though, as she pushed pass him and ran for the door.

Tenzin froze for just a second before he snapped out of it and started to run after her but found the doorway blocked by a thick slab of earth. The whole island rumbled as he ran to a window, his mouth falling agape at the large pillars of earth that had erupted across the whole island.

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She held the squirming infant close to her. Warm pink color finally filling her cheeks. The babe still didn't cry or open her eyes as she quietly left the hospital. Everything had gone so much easier than she had expected. And it would be easier on the parents if they thought the baby was dead. A much better solution than kidnapping.

She let out a sigh of relief as she walked into the night undetected. She looked down at the baby girl's sweet face and felt an indescribable feeling.

She had always wanted a daughter.

"Do you have the child?"

The world thought the baby was dead. Why not them too? They had hired her to kidnap the babe, it had been her own ingenious plan to come up with an alternative solution. Visions of a perfect little nose flashed in her mind and she shook her head in mock disappointment.

"There was an accident and the baby was stillborn. I'm sorry, sir."