everything's fucked// james cook

part 12: tit

I ignored Cook for the rest of the day, and instead hung out with Katie. She was actually kind of nice, and she was a nice change from Effy and Pandora. It turns out she didn't actually like Effy any more than I did, so we had tons in common. JJ and Cook sat with us at lunch, but I avoided eye contact and wouldn't talk to him. 

After our last class, Katie and I walked outside the college and waited for JJ. He came out with Cook, and they went to smoke up against the building. I groaned.  

"Great," I said to Katie. 

"We could just go to mine, if you want," she said, handing me a blunt. 

 "Sure," I said, nodding, then I saw Cook. He was leaning up against the brick wall of the college, smoking, and he was looking at me. I stared back at him, not budging. He motioned to me with his head, and I sighed. 

"Katie, actually," I stopped her with my hand. "I'll meet you there if you text me your address, I have to take care of something first."

She said, "Yeah, sure," then ran to catch up with JJ, who was walking towards his house. 

I walked towards Cook and leant next to him on the wall. 

"So," I said. "What do you want?"

He smiled, and handed me the blunt.

"No thanks," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Suit yourself," he shrugs, then drops the cigarette and grounds it out under his foot. 

"Viv," he says, then stops. He turns to face me, then starts again. "I'm a dickhead," he says softly. 

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you are," I said, looking down at the ground. 

He smiled, and continued. "It was a dick move, I know. But I kinda like you, alrite? And I always fuck everything up. I dont know, I didn't want to fuck this up."

I stand there, not sure what to say. 

"That's almost sweet, Cook," I said with a shit-eating grin.

"Shut the fuck up," he said. "Don't make me regret that."

"Awww, Cookie," I said, poking fun at him. "Do you like me? So cute."

He pointed his finger at me. "Go on, keep talking, and you'll never get any of this," he said, motioning to his body, "again."

I rolled my eyes, and pulled him into a hug. His arms wrapped around my back, and his head went to rest in the crook of my neck. 

Before I pulled away, I whispered into his ear, saying, "I like you too, James."

I turned away with a wink, leaving him behind me, and walked to Katie's house, smiling the whole time. 

♕⋆♕⋆♕

I sat on Katie's bed, my back to her wall, flipping through a magazine, reading about Britney Spears.

"I wish I looked like her," I said, flipping to the next page and showing Katie.

She looked up from the other end of the bed and nodded. Suddenly, she closed her magazine, and sat up straight. 

"So, you've gotta tell me. What happened with you and Cook? I know about that bitch, Effy, but after that?"

"Nothing really," I said, feigning ignorance and flipping through the magazine.

"Tell me, bitch, don't be a tit," she said.

"Fuck off," I laughed.

"Come on," she whined. "I'm bored, and Em's off shagging Naomi, and Freddy and Effy are boring. Just tell me, you bint."

"Fine," I said, closing my magazine. "Basically, we shagged, and he left in the morning, so I got pissed at him."

"You shagged Cook?" she said. "Was he any good? Cause Pandora said he was, but she's a twat."

"What did Effy say?" I asked curiously. 

"Why?" she asked. 

Honestly, I wasn't sure. 

"I guess cause I wanna know if she still likes him," I said truthfully.

"Do you like him?" Katie asked.

"Yeah," I said. "He's different with me. He's actually nice. And I get that that sounds like bullshit, but it's actually true. He took me to meet his brother, and his mum, and I don't know, he actually talks to me. I told him about my family and he told me about his. I feel, I don't know, happy around him."

I hung my head, and said, "Yeah, no, that sounds dumb as fuck. And I'm probably going to get hurt, and I don't know if I can deal with that."

"You don't just like him, do you?" Katie said. "Are you in love with him?"

I laughed, and didn't really answer. 

Katie said thoughtfully, "He seems like a tosser, but I think he actually cares about you. He was super upset that day in the shed, and whenever he seems you, he lights up. And he pretty much only talks to you. I think that's why Effy got jealous. She's used to guys running around her in circles, and so when Cook didn't after he met you, he got pissed." 

"I'm not sure about that," I said. "But what you said about Effy makes sense. I almost feel kinda bad for her."

Katie nodded, and said, "Yeah, almost."

We looked at each other, then laughed. 

"Did you know I used to date Freddy?" Katie said.

"No fucking way!" I responded. "When?"

"Last year," Katie said. "It didn't end too well, she fucked him, then hit me over the head with a rock, and then left me in the woods. So, she's a fucking psychopath."

"Oh my god," I said slowly. "I'm going to die. Her brother isn't too bad though," I said.

"You only like him because he's fit," she said accusingly. 

"You're not wrong," I said, laughing.

We spent the rest of the afternoon getting pissed and talking. Before I left to go home, Katie said, "Thanks, Vi. You're not bad."

I smiled at her, and gave her a hug, then waved goodbye. 

"You're not too bad yourself, Katie Fitch."