❤︎ First encounter [1]

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2018

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2018

Day sixty ninth's reminder: love does not exist. Fuck love.

I draw a red X mark on today's date on the calendar hanging next to my bookshelf. I step away from it and toss the marker away.

With a loud clank, it hits the wooden surface of my desk and rolls back until it stops at the neat pile of my textbooks stacked on the other end.

A sigh stumbles out of my lips as I move to my dressing table. I plop down on its plush stool.

I survey my reflection.

My deep violet silk tank top fits me well and shows a good amount of skin to make me look sexy. It even matches my silver-lilac metallic hair color.

I style my hair with the curling iron. Sooner than usual, I'm done with the task. I grin at the result.

Perks of having short hair.

The curls bounce, barely reaching my shoulders.

I'm glad Mom convinced me to agree with the post-breakup makeover.

My smile falters as Drew's brown eyes resurface in my mind.

He would have hated my outfit. My new hairstyle. And even the color of it.

I fidget with my fingers resting on my lap, my gaze fixes on my painted nails.

I can't count the number of times Drew forced me to change my clothes before we went out. Either on date nights or hanging out with his friends. Each objection led to an argument. Every argument resulted in him threatening to leave me. That I was being absurd. I always had to apologize for being inconsiderate. If I really loved him, I would have done as he told me to do so.

He never let me go to parties and didn't like when I hung out with my friends.

I feel so stupid for staying in that awful relationship for such a long time.

The gathering tears burn my eyes. I close them and inhale deeply to calm myself down. After long moments, I shake my head and reopen them.

No, he is not worth it.

I will not waste my tears on him.

Nor will I waste my makeup that's literally worth more than his entire bank balance.

It's better that it ended. I was way out of his league, anyway.

I draw another coat of eyeliner, highlighting my sea-green eyes, all the while chanting encouraging statements. Until my confidence boosts up.

Fake it till you make it.

That's my grand 'move on' plan.

I check the time. Abby should be here anytime now.

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