He Did Ballet |Virgato|

Chapter 5: He wanted him

Joel stands out in front of the pub and breathes the cool air deeply, trying to clear his head a little and get some clarity now that he isn't so close to the heat of Christopher's body. He shudders slightly in the unseasonably cold April evening and cycles through stages of panic. Objectively, he knows bringing Chris home with him is a bad idea, but even here outside in the cool air he still wants to so badly. He's wondering just how much he might regret it tomorrow, without the alcohol currently coursing through his veins making his decisions questionable and the temptation of Chris impossible to ignore. He debates texting Erick who is with Richard sorting stuff out backstage to ask his opinion, but he knows what he'll say. He'll just tell Joel to stop thinking so much, which isn't necessarily helpful (although perhaps true).

Joel fiddles with his shirt collar and bounces on his toes, watching his breath escape him in clouds of fog. He decides to leave without Chris about four times, decides to stay and wait for him maybe five, and is still not sure what he's going to do when Chris appears out of the door holding his bass guitar case.

"Sorry, was negotiating with Richard and our friends to take the other stuff," Chris says apologetically, slinging the guitar case onto his back. "Had to compromise, so guess I'm bringing this with me."

Joel looks at him and grins, biting his lip slightly. His panic had been soothed slightly by Christopher's appearance, which makes no sense as he's the one he's panicking over, but somewhere along the way, Christopher's presence in his life was something that settled warm and comfortable in the very center of his chest.

"Was Erick there?" Joel asks.

"Yeah he's going back with Rich," Chris says with a grin. He pauses and then his grin grows even wider. "He told me to tell you 'go get it, babe'."

Joel can feel himself go scarlet and coughs, floundering for a response before deciding to just turn and start to walk down the road towards the tube station. "You coming, or what?"

"I'll be honest, I'm surprised you even waited for me. A part of me thought you might have ran off while I was inside," Chris says with a wink, falling into step alongside Joel. "I can't trust a kiss from you."

"I'm still considering it," Joel says seriously, deciding to not express quite how honest that sentiment is.

"It's too late, I'm following you now," Chris says, grinning.

Joel just shakes his head as they continue to the station.

"Why did you come tonight?" Chris asks after they tap through the barriers. "Don't get me wrong, it's always a treat to see you, Pretty Boy, but you pretty much told me to get lost last time I saw you."

Joel pauses as they go down the escalator and duck through to the platform, Chris standing behind him the whole time, close and often brushing his hand over Joel's shoulder, or touching the small of his back gently. Joel is thrumming with energy from Chris touching him, sparks dancing along his skin under the fabric that Chris touches.

"I didn't say that," Joel protests after Chris raises his eyebrows at him, prompting an answer for his question.

"You told me you couldn't see anyone right now and that you never should have agreed to go out with me," Chris says with a slightly humorless laugh. "That's a direct quote."

Joel winces slightly at his words being thrown back at him, Erick had done it enough times, but hearing it in Christopher's smooth voice made it a hundred times worse.

"I can't," Joel says. "See anyone right now."

"Then what are we doing?" Chris asks with raised eyebrows. The train arrives and Chris gestures for Joel to get on first. Joel chooses to stand at the end of a car and Chris follows him on, dropping his bass case and holding it between his feet as he stands opposite Joel, close enough that he can feel Christopher's warmth.