Blanket of Stars [completed]

✩ Six Cityscapes

"For bright lights and cityscapes
And landslides and masquerades
And she'll take all you ever have
But I'm gonna love you" - Sara Bareilles

✩ Six Cityscapes

Few minutes after being awkwardly tangled up, Devlin got off of me and I breathed a sigh relief. Don't get me wrong, I loved him but love doesn't have to be physical. It shouldn't have to be physical. If it is then it can't be called love.

Look at me, trying to decide the definition of love when I didn't know what it was myself.

There was a strange silence and me, being the amusing clown I am. I blurted the most embarrassing I could. "I wasn't thinking about you know what." When I realized what I had said, I felt myself turn into a bright red tomato. I crisscrossed my legs on the soft, white comforters and bit down my lips. "When I was young, I loved chocolate. I still do. It was awesome, purple fairies dancing and all. There was a circus in town. They had the best chocolate coated popcorn. It was delicious. They had horse dressed up as unicorn. I'm not dumb I knew they were horses-"

"Alice," Devlin leaned forward to clasp a hand on my mouth. My eyes widened when I realized how close he was. "We are not going to do anything. I promise. Stop panicking,"

He removed his hand and lifted himself off the bed. I reached out and pulled him back next to me. "I wasn't panicking. I usually ramble when I'm-"

"Nervous. I know. " For a moment, I failed to understand the clipped tone of his voice. Had I offended him? But then he smiled slightly and I felt breaths return to my lungs. "Don't worry. I'm sort of old fashioned when it comes these sort of things. It was my mum's belief. To get married, before you mess each other up,"

I played with his hands, looping our index fingers together. It was amazing how much our hands contrasted. He had long, ebony fingers while mine were childish and stubby. His skin had an almond hue while mine was dark as sand. "Devlin, I want you to know something. There is a reason why I never dated anyone until now. To be honest, the physical part of this relationship scares me. I don't know. I just couldn't imagine sharing my body with someone else. I-I-,"

"Hey," He whispered softly. "It's the soul that matters and you've shared enough to last me a lifetime,"

I buried my head in his shoulder.

"These thing don't matter, okay? Stop worrying about it."

"You say that just to make happy. I know it matters to you. Maybe not right but it will in the future,"

"Oh Alice, Can we please live in the present?"

I lifted my head and stared into his warm eyes. "I don't want to lose you. The world is so bitter, Devlin. It's hard to find good people these days who will listen to you and not use your weakness to put down you,"

"It's a matter of perspective. The glass can be half full or half empty,"

"You can't wash away the darkness with your bright words,"

"I know I can't. In the end, I'll just end up drowning in the attempt to find shore,"

I wasn't used to him giving in so easily. He usually fought with me for few minutes before throwing in the towel and usually I was the one who gave up, not him. "I didn't mean that,"

Something in my expression caused him to end the conversation. He gave me a close lipped smile. I know he didn't want my pity. Pity is not something that can be stopped. People pretend they don't want to be pitied but sometimes all of us could use that extra ounce of love. "Let's cook something. I'm famished,"