Kintsugi // ATEEZ [Ishihara Sequel] ✔

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[A/N: I wrote this chapter while listening to 'Forever Alone' by Martin Czerny to get into the mood so... maybe listen to a sad instrumental while reading this chapter lmao 🤩🤩🤩 writing this chapter broke me, so goodbye.]

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Akira almost flinches as the glass bowl is smashed on the floor, the contents splattered, but she restrains herself from reacting too much. She sees over her shoulder that someone is entering the room, but she only shakes her head, saying that she can manage the mess on her own. She forces a smile that hides a thousand kinds of pain as she takes the cloth from the bedside table, carefully avoiding all the black tendrils pulsing all over the room.

She dutifully wipes the splattered soup on the floor before she tries to pick the smashed glass up, forcing a smile as she says, "If you don't want to eat, just tell me nicely. It's not like I'll scold you for not eating. You don't have to push the bowl away like that," she says, her voice croaking.

Seonghwa only looks at her with emptiness in his eyes before he looks away, as if trying to enjoy the night sky through the barred windows. He doesn't say anything as Akira crouches on the floor, silent sighs escaping her lips as she picks the glass pieces up.

"I'm sorry," she utters. "I'm sorry that I can't do anything much now. I'm just so lost and I don't know what to do." She gives up in trying to clean the pieces of glass as she sits back on the chair beside the bed, looking weakly at the black tendrils all around the room and then to him.

He's still looking away from her, and it takes all her will to not touch him, begging for him to look at her.

She doesn't know what would hurt more; for him to look at her but with no recognition in his eyes, or for him to look away as he stays oblivious to her words.

"Aren't you acting too much like a toddler?" she tries to say it lightly, even though she's smiling with tears in her eyes. "You don't have to throw a tantrum just because you don't want to eat. Say something, Park Seonghwa. I miss-" she sobs, "I miss hearing your voice. Say even one word, so that I can hear your voice."

What would be more painful? To see him lying unconscious that he can't respond to anything, or to see him not responding even as he's awake?

"Do you remember," she tries again, "when you became the first person to tell me that my blood colour was black?" She'd like to think that she sees a reaction from him, even a slight glance as she continues. "You were the first person that was truthful to me, and it opened up so many answers to the lies that I've been told before." She sighs, "But it looks like there's another lie I unearthed..." She trails off as she leans backwards, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I don't know who to trust anymore. If what Jihyun said is true... that I have the blood of Ileara in me... I might be the cure for this curse. But I don't know what to do- does it mean that if I'm gone-"

She stops talking as a grunt comes from Seonghwa, and she quickly attends to him, ignoring the warnings that Yunho gave to her to not touch him.

"Are you alright? Do you- do you need anything?"

She holds his face, her eyes searching for something that could show that he remembers her. Her hands are trembling as she waits for him to say anything or for him to make a sound like he did; she's sure that she didn't mishear him. For a painful second her eyes drop to his lips, seeing them parting, but no sound comes out before he closes it again.

"It's alright," she says. "You can say anything, just- just-" She rubs a thumb over his cheek, feeling his skin that is marred with the black webs. "Anything," she pleads.

But his lips are tight shut, not even a curve up or down to show his emotions. What pains her more is that she can't even tell what he's feeling right now; the colour of his eyes are neutral. Empty... and emotionless.