Just For Safe Keeping

18

TONI POV:

"He was doing so well." I whisper. Cheryl sits up on the bed and goes over to me. She cups my cheeks. "How are we going to tell Maria?" I ask panicking. "She's 3! She's not going to understand what's really happening." I say. Cheryl rubs my cheeks. "We sit her down and tell her the best way we can and we answer any questions she has." I nod and lean into her. "I just wish I could have said goodbye." I whisper. "But his suffering is over and he died peacefully in his sleep." She whispers. I look at her. "I guess you're right." She moves her hands down to my shoulders. "How's Fangs?" She ask quietly. "I really don't know." I whisper. There's a knock in the door. "Mommy?" Maria says quietly. "Come in sweetheart." She slowly comes into the room. "You ok kid?" I ask quietly. She nods. "I can't sleep."

Maria stands in front of me while I do her hair. "What's going to happen to Grandpa?" She ask. "Maria, there's something I need to tell you." I say stepping in front of her and kneeling down. I put my hands on her arm gently. "Maria, the night before last night, um... Grandpa died." She looks at me. "What does that mean?" She ask quietly. I take a deep breath. "It's like if you go to sleep but you don't wake up." Her eyes widen. "It's not going to happen to you or me or mom or uncle Fangs anytime soon!" I tell her immediately. "It happens when you get to Grandpa's age." I whisper. "And it's natural!" I tell her. "And it's ok to miss him and it's going to be ok." I say quietly. "Why did he die?" She ask quietly. "You know how Grandpa wasn't doing well?" She nods. "Well, it was too much for his body to handle." I whisper. "Was it painful?" She ask. "Not for him." I say trying to keep it together for her. "Can it be?" I nod. "Sometimes but not for everyone and it certain circumstances." I tell her. "Is he ok?" I nod. "He's with Grandma." I whisper wiping her tears. "Do you have anymore questions?" I ask quietly. She shrugs. "What happens now?" She ask quietly. "Well, we are going to have a funeral for him, where you will get to hear stories about him and celebrate his life." I whisper. "Will there be snacks?" I smile a little because only Maria would ask something like that. "Yeah. For you there will be." She smiles a little. "Will we ever see him again?" She ask. "Not for a while." I say quietly. "Anything else you would like to know?" I ask. "Not right now." I kiss the top of her head. "Ok. Let's finish your hair." I whisper. "Mommy doesn't know how to do my hair." She says. "I know, I'm still trying to teach her." I smile. "Why?" She ask quietly. I take a deep breath. "One serious discussion for today. We'll talk about it later." I say finishing her hair. I kiss the top of her head. "You're so pretty." I whisper. She smiles. "You too." I smile. "Go into the play room for a few while I go and talk to mommy." She runs out of the bathroom. I go into the bedroom. I smile at Cheryl's beauty. "I have an emergency meeting with my team." I say quietly. "I'm gonna rearranged some of the tour dates for the funeral." I say quietly. She looks at me. "You going to be ok?" She ask concerned. I nod. "I can't move the performance on Kimmel." I say quietly. She smiles sadly. I take a deep breath. "I don't know if I'll be able to do it." I say quietly. "Maria and I will be there supporting you the whole time." She takes my hand. "It'll be ok." I kiss her. "I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you." She smiles. "I don't know what I would do without you." She says rubbing my cheeks. "Also you really need to figure out Maria's hair!" I say quietly. "I'm not used to her hair. Figured that out the hard way when you were taking care of your dad." I nod. "I know Maria told me." She sighs. "I brought her to a hair dresser." She says. "I know. It's ok." I tell her. I kiss her.

I walk onto the stage. I take a long deep breath and try to control my breathing. Jimmy Kimmel walks over to me and shakes my hand. "How are you?" He ask. "I've been better." He nods. "I'm sorry about your father." He says sincerely. "Thank you." The camera guy cues us in. "Good evening everyone. I'm here with Toni Topaz kicking off her world tour. You must be excited!" I nod. "Yeah! A little nervous because it's my first world tour since my daughter was born and we had to rush to get her a passport." I joke. "Now news broke about your father the other day." I nod. "I know it must be hard right now and it takes a lot to come out here tonight and perform. I know he would be happy to see you tonight." I nod trying to keep it together. "Now you'll be performing Golden in a minute. Correct." I nod. "Well, get your guitar and take it away." I smile and grab my guitar while Jimmy walks off stage. I put on my guitar and go up to the mic. I look over at Maria and Cheryl and smile. I look back at the band and nod. The drums kick in and I remember why I get up on stage and perform. I start playing my guitar and play golden.

I pick Cheryl up and put her on the bed. She smiles. "You're in a much better mood." I smile. "Being up on that stage reminded me why I do what I do!" I say quietly. "It was such a nice new feeling after months of heartache." I say. She looks at me. "Are you high?" She ask quietly. "No! Just really happy." She smiles and kisses me. "I'm happy we got this apartment." She says quietly. I smile.

I rap my arms around Cheryl. "Do you think we were to loud?" I ask quietly. "That was the first time we had sex in the apartment and you aren't the quietest when you cum." I say quietly. She hits my shoulder a playfully. "You're so annoying sometimes." She looks at me. "How did you end up explaining to Maria how your dad died?" She ask quietly. I sigh. "I just did. I don't know!" I whisper. "How do you think she's taking it?" I shrug. "She definitely misses him." I say quietly. She sits up. "How are you taking it?" She ask concerned. "Honestly?" She nods. "I feel like my world is on fire." I say quietly. She looks at me. "I've been talking to my therapist. So you really don't have to worry about me throwing myself off a bridge also that's a lot of effort."