If You Can't Sing It, Scream It

Part 25: Epilogue...ish.

Vic's P.O.V.:

I've known Austin since we played in too big uniforms, our helmets slipping off our heads, and I had never seen him like this before.

At first, I held it against him. What he did to Oli was wrong. Oli held a special place to me, what he did for Kellin was extraordinary. No one would have done that for him. I didn't even do that for him.

So when he came around asking for Oli, I just shrugged him off. I was stiff, cold to him. He brought this upon himself. Then...

His visits started coming more frequently. His eyes more frantic each time. His, his weight loss apparent. He started coming over in the middle of the night, pounding on my door.

One night, a week before he graduated, he came over at four. His eyes were bloodshot. I knew he had problems sleeping, but I didn't know how long he had went this time. His face was dark with stubble. His eyes looked bruised with bags. His clothes hung off of him, his hands shook with anxiety. As soon as I looked at him, tears filled his eyes, his face contorting in pain.

"Please Vic," he got on his knees, shaky, clammy hands grabbing mine that were still warm with sleep. "Please," he sobbed. "Please please please," he brought my hands to touch his forehead. "I need him, Vic. I really need him. I need to know where he is. He-he hasn't b-b-been at school, he hasn't been home, Kellin and Brendon won't talk to me. He blocked my number," his sobs came out as wheezes, like his lungs were deflated balloons...He couldn't hold air without Oli. "I just want to see him. I just--I--Where is he? Please, Vic I'm so sorry. I don't want this anymore. I didn't mean it I swear to God." he apologized over and over again, I think more to himself than me.

I cleared my throat, "He went back to Sheffield." His eyes snapped open in agony. "He left the day after it happened... With his family." His lip trembled and I pulled him up off his knees. He stood--barely-- and he draped his thin, tall form over me, openly sobbing into my shoulder. Tears and snot soaking my shirt, he leaned into me. I couldn't understand a single thing he sobbed to me, but I took him in my house leading him downstairs and readying the hide-away bed for him to sleep on. He wasn't fit to stay by himself.

He cried himself to sleep, and I wondered if this was the first time.

After an hour, I made my way up the stairs, finding Kellin waiting on the stairs leading to my bedroom. Worry in his eyes, still in my too big football jersey and my boxers.

"Is he okay?" His voice was quiet and tired. I nodded. He chewed on his nails some more, and I watched him. Entirely intrigued with his every movement.

"Should we tell him?" After seeing Austin like that...I wanted him to know.

"No." Kellin shook his head. "Oli doesn't want him to know."

"He can't keep it a secret once it happens," I pointed out. "He'll eventually figure it out."

"Yeah, but its not our place." Kellin held out a hand to lead me back up to my room. Austin weighing on my mind.

After that day, Austin wore the same tired expression on his face. Defeat. Even on graduation day. He didn't get drunk, he didn't sleep around anymore, he didn't look anyone in the eye, he didnt dare to look at Alan.

His lyrics became darker than the bags under his eyes. He rarely ate, and when he did I would hear him sobbing, throwing up in the bathroom.

He buried himself, and he wouldn't let anyone in.

I felt my heart break for my friend...and I prayed for June 10th to come quickly.

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*sobs uncontrollably* I'm so sorry guys.

I almost cried writing this. Poor Austin :(

Don't worry. The next one will be out soon, I promise. Just hold on, hang in there.

In the mean time, I will be writing a Kellic called Ocean Eyes & Lullabies that is almost a prequel to this story. I should have the first chapter up as soon as I post this one. Its gonna be good guys.

Okay. Get some sleep, everything will be okay. This will all work out, I promise. :)

I'll keep updating the Author's Note to keep you all updated on this story and such.

I can't believe book one is already over.

I love you all so fucking much. Thank you for your support. You have no idea how much this means to me.

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