As she sat there on her bed, her mind was on a journey, beyond her bedroom walls, beyond all the words she could use to express what she felt inside. Perhaps if he was there, she wouldn't feel so bad laying besides this empty sheets wishing his golden skin was next to her, maybe she wouldn't feel so bad talking in her sleep coz the she knew if she woke up he would be there by her side.
A million things were crossing through her mind, questions that she kept asking herself but she didnt have the answers. Why would Isaac do this to her? She was everything Isaac wanted her to be and even at times when all wasn't okay she knew that at the end of the day she would still lay by his side wrapped in the warmth of his embrace, but never could she picture Isaac in the arms of another lady. No one got her high like he did, they say a good man is hard to come by this days but she knew she had a man, a real man and even though he had his flaws she still showed up in situations he didn't expect her to, she loved him more than anyone and anything else in her life and she kept going back to him when he messed up, she believed in him, she pushed him to be better, better than last time better than the rest. But not all men can be tamed for in this night Elsie found herself alone.
Maybe it was about time for her to finally get used to being that way. But something about Isaac always got her back to him. He kept pulling her in and she kept giving him, even on days that she took vows not to think of him, she found herself lost in thoughts of him. Because of the way she loved him, the way they loved each other.
Still she took a vow every day, to keep her sane on her troubled days but where was sanity in all this. Its like taking an apple every day to keep the doctor away but she still got sick. On some days she had to come to terms with the fact that Isaac was her first, her last, her everything and in him she had found heaven on earth, it did give her a reason to smile and keep the bad thoughts away but when dusk came and she was alone reality dawned on her.
See. Thats the kind of power he had over her, that even though she wasn't ready to forgive him she still wanted to be with him, even though she wasn't ready to face him again still she wanted to see him. Even though he hurt her she still wanted to be held in his arms, she still wanted to get lost in his embrace, she still thought of him every now and then. He was a monster, she kept on thinking to herself but she knew the cost of losing him and as long as the sun rose every morning she woke up knowing that she was still in Love and hoped that somehow there was a path that led him to her again.
Sometimes love comes and passes you by, sometimes it hits and you realize that its out of your hand, it excites you, it fill all those empty spaces inside of you, it changes you, and it ends up controlling you. As they say Love is blind.
Elsie.
Few weeks passed and things started to change, all the anger that I felt inside slowly started to fade away, I started to miss him. I missed how he would hug me from behind whenever he found me in the kitchen cooking. How we would make out while food was still cooking. How he would sing for me even though his voice would crack, still he would make me smile. How he would dance for me even though his kind of dancing wasnt really what we call dancing. How he would try his best to prepare a meal even though he didn't fancy cooking, but he would do it for me. I was missing our movie nights, although used to sleep off most of the times. I was missing his presence. There were nights when I wanted to reach out to him but I was the victim and it wasn't in my place to reach out.
Love is beyond us, its beyond reason and when you feel it doesnt matter if youre the victim. It scales through everything and conquers all. The power of true love is like nothing else, its like something supernatural. Sometimes it's the cause of pain and heartbreak but its the true version of it that can mend a broken heart. That gives one a reason to live, a reason to keep trying again and again. The lack of it can leave one devastated, the longing for it can make one anxious and desperate. It is the lack of it – not just love itself but the kind of love and affection that they shared with Isaac that left Elsie broken and its that love that would fix her. Its the power of Love.
She would find her peace knowing that wherever Isaac was, he was thinking of her. That he too longed for her presence, for her touch. On some days she could play touch but sometimes we all need somebody, some days she felt as if she needed supermans soul to get her through troubled days. And as for Isaac he was sailing in the same boat. It was the love they felt for each other that united them together, even though they werent together their love was reason enough for them to wanna go back and maybe they would go back.
Elsie.
One night on my way home from work I got a text from Isaac. Seeing the notification my heart almost stopped beating, I waited until I reached home to open the text, but first I needed a glass of wine to cool me off.
He wanted us to meet, I knew I wasn't ready to meet him but I still wanted to see him. I just wanted to set my eyes on him and maybe that would calm the raging storm inside me. I had longed his eyes, how he would look at me and suddenly I was out of this world.
What was wrong with me?
This is how Isaac was able to keep Elsie going round in circles. He knew how to get to her, how to get her affection back whenever he was a disappointment. He was her weakness.
He would make her smile even when she was sad. She found herself doing things she never thought she would do, she would take her chances maybe because she believed that he was worth the risk. She wasn't herself around Isaac, her mind was gone. You could see the love in her eyes when she looked at him, how she would smile and laugh at his jokes. How she would blush whenever he complimented her and open her arms wide to reach out for a hug.
Every time he looked at her with admiration, every time he pulled her close for a kiss her knees would get weak and she would just let the moment take them away, he was more than a moment to her. Every moment they shared together was always a special moment.
