How love goes.
Elsie.
I looked at him as if i wanted to ask him how he was living with no kisses, no hugs, nothing at all. I was just so possessive of him, iwanted him all to myself. I know that makes me a fool, but if i fought then we'd lose whatever we had left and i knew the cost of losing him. The few weeks we spent apart were dreadful. I had not learnt to love him from afar and i was far from getting used to it. Sometimes you love someone so much that their silence and absence isn't something you wanna grace yourself with. I guess some truths are learnt the hard way, i had learnt mine the hard way.
I fought the urge to give him a hug, God knows i wanted him in my arms. Some closure for all the time we had spent apart. But i just stood there looking at him.
Isaac.
Seeing her again was a relief. I had missed her face,her laugh, her smile, her everything.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I couldn't find the right words to say what needed to be said.
I wanted to stretch out my hand to shake her hand but i changed my mind, drew closer and hugged her. I was drowning in her, in her scent, I was drowning in her warmth, in her love. At this moment it was clear that we were still in love. I felt her heart rummaging inside her chest beating so hard.
The feeling of having her in my arms again was an unexplainable feeling, my body was trembling as my grip became tigter pressing her body against mine.
I didn't want to stop i wanted this moment to go on. I wanted time to stop and allow us to just freeze in that moment. Somehow its like we were communicating to each other with that hug. Some way of saying that she still got my heart and that i was sorry for everything.
How could i mess up such a beautiful relationship, how could i cheat on the one woman who made my life beautiful, the one woman who would do anything for me as long as it would ensure my happiness.
I rested my chin on her shoulder then i realised that she was crying, my shirt was getting wet with all the tears. I felt the urge to hold her tighter hoping that it would ease the crying. It broke me to the core that she was crying. I wished i could pick up all the broken pieces of her broken heart and put them back together as i held her so that when i look at her again it wouldn't hurt.
The reality of the pain i had caused her now dawned on me, tears started rolling down my eyes and i mumbled some words in the line of "I am sorry Elsie, for everything, i am sorry". I couldn't bring myself to calm down. I just kept on repeating myself that i was sorry. She was still crying but after a while she stopped, got herself together and said to me.
Elsie.
"i hate myself for loving you so much, i hate that when i am in your arms theres no other place that i wanna be, i hate it that in your arms is the only place i can release myself. I hate it that everyday you're not there is a nightmare, I hate it that my world has to stop everytime i see you."
She paused for a moment before she continued.
"I have given you everything, all of me. More than i have ever given anyone in my life, and all i wanted in return was no less than all of you Isaac".
Tears continued rolling down my cheeks uncontrallably. I couldn't stop myself from breaking down. He still held me in his arms.
I was horrified because i felt him sobbing , he was hurt too. I felt like he wanted to say something but it seemed as though he couldn't find his tongue. All the things stuck up in my head waiting to be said were now gone and the only familiar thing now was the pain i felt inside..but i was tired of being angry at him. It only made things worse, there was a time when i would have thrown fists at him but now i felt helpless. I felt vulnerable as he held me in his arms but in a way soaking in his embrace was a release. It felt like i was releasing all the anger i felt inside, i was letting out what i couldn't with my words.
I had played so many scenarios in my head of how i would burst out in anger but never did i picture this. Me wrapped up in his arms. Sometimes love don't make sense at all.
I had never seen Isaac cry until now. I've seen strong men break cry but i have never pictured Isaac in tears. I didn't want to look at his face. I was afraid it would break me even more.
"Elsie, Please". That's all he was able to say.
Hi Loves.
I guess we can't wait to see what Isaac has to say.
I just felt like i needed to say that this has been the most exciting chapter to write. I wanted to bring out all the emotions. Writing the story and watching the story develop till now i had always imagined how this moment would be. I think its the saddest part in the story. I bet you almost cried when Elsie said that she hates herself for loving Isaac this much, that her world has to stop everytime she sees him...oohhh my, this is just too much to take in. What we realize from this chapter is how much Elsie loves Isaac, she says that she has never given her all to anyone except for Isaac. She gave him her all and she kept breaking her walls down hoping that Isaac would pull through. Love is about how much we are willing to give and not about the much we want to receive.
I know i aint making sense to some of you but Hey....that's just how Love goes, if not then i guess am fooling myself. But you won't fight me when you realize its the truth. Lemme hear your views in the comment section.
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