amoris - stosuh oneshots

🤍 ambrosial

//tw,,, idek how to explain this. dissociation, self-hatred, childhood trauma, etc etc etc..

warning, this one's a mess omg

A building in ruins.

Grimy paint had been peeled and scratched off, leaving bare, dirty concrete walls, half-collapsed in rubble and dust. The ceiling was caved in. Patches of ripped large holes in it revealed clear midnight skies. Harsh wind gusted in from extremely large squares where big glass windows should've been.

It looked worse than an abandoned orphanage in an apocalypse.

And in the middle of it all, off to the side, a little boy was curled up in herself, attired in a simple oversized hoodie with long, baby blue socks to match.

Strong lights were flashed at him.

Police went into shouts and intercom static.

He needed it to stop.

He needed it to stop.

❀✿❀✿

And then it stopped.

And he was outside, on a bench, facing his preschool's old playground.

The sky looked grey and cold, but it felt less heavier in the boy's eyes than it would've been from someone else's perspective. It felt so light. So nice. So nostalgic, too nostalgic, too nostalgic.

Old cement ground, chalk drawings and cobwebs and bugs on a wall, eerie metal slides and worn out swings and decomposing wooden sandboxes. Cement stairs leading to an empty place on a higher level, a different playground even more shabby, memories too vague, too confusing, a little spot full of dried leaves and spiders shielded by that same chalked up colourful wall.

A paroxysm of sickening nostalgia swept through him, and he felt like throwing up his guts until he died.

The feeling of crying didn't come to his eyes, but it did come to his chest.

In the distance, there was a void.

A white hole in the landscape, letting him know this can't be real.

This can't be real.

This can't be real.

This can't be real.

The void.

One of these days, we'll all be sucked away.

Rancid little boy.

❀✿❀✿

And now he was in an alley, cold and yellow and dark, nostalgic as always.

He had his legs pulled up to her chest, and he was shrinking in on himself, wanting to disappear as a woman loomed over him.

The woman had bouncy warm hair and a big smile on her face. It was unnerving and unpredictable. For some reason, the woman scared him out of his mind.

"Is this you?" The boy found himself asking. His voice was distant and muffled, and he didn't understand why he had just said that, but it seemed like the woman knew exactly what was going on.