Astrophile

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this one is similar to chrysalism because i adore that story :)

tw // panic attack, self-hatred, anxiety

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It's happening again, except this time, he can't stay calm. Dream's breath is quickening, and he can't control the tears pricking in his eyes. Usually, when he begins to panic, he can listen to music, just breath and all will be fixed. All it takes is a few minutes to regain control. This time, however, something feels wrong. He goes through his regular strategies to relaxing, none of them working as well as expected. His normal playlist for relaxing makes him more anxious, causing his palms to sweat and his skin to crawl. Dream's eyes dart around the room rapidly, searching for a distraction. He itches his arm, skin beginning to feel abnormal and uncomfortable. The soon-to-be setting sun peeks through his blinds, illuminating his face slightly.

The light draws his attention away from the tightness in his chest, and he shuffles across his bed closer to the blinds. Instead of drawing them up, he uses his fingers to make a crack in the blinds, peeking outside. The sunset has a golden shine and a pink and orange ombre that Dream becomes absorbed in. Taking in the scenery, he admires the sky above's deep blue, showing the signs of the time he loves so dearly. The first few stars even began to show. Something about the night makes him feel so calm and peaceful. It feels like the night understands him, and he enjoys the quiet. The darkness makes him feel at home, and he feels alone in the best way. As the world sleeps, he's awake and can have the beauty of the dark all to himself. All his thinking causes his breath to ease on its own, allowing his breathing to return to a standard pattern.

A thought passes through the blonde man's mind, and he springs to his feet, panic forgotten momentarily. Dream snatches his phone from his bed, ignoring the red 13% displayed obnoxiously in the top right of the screen, begging for attention. He slips on his shoes and slams the door behind him. Anticipation eats away at the tall man, as he takes long strides to the place he knows oh so well. His nervous nature alongside his anxiety has him practically running down the sidewalk, almost missing the turnoff because of this. Dream stops quickly, almost falling over as he starts down the dirt trail into the woods. The blonde falls into a daze of steps, allowing muscle memory to take him to the place he loved so dearly. Dream kicks a rock, stumbling over and bringing himself back to reality, allowing himself to take a breath once more before continuing, this time at a slower pace. Even after his rushed haze, he still takes a moment to appreciate the forest. He breathes in the fresh scent of the trees while listening to the calming chirp of the crickets. Other animals such as birds make themselves known, before seemingly settling in for the night. The woods are peaceful, and Dream loves it.

The tress tower over him, menacing to others but comforting to him. To him, they feel like they're reaching down for a hug, a hug the blonde is dying to embrace. The forest acts as a second home for Dream; however, the trees aren't even the best part. The thought alone adds a rare and genuine grin to his face, the idea of his special place making his heart pound. It sounds dumb, but the clearing is the most beautiful place, especially at night. He hasn't visited in a while, work keeping him on his toes and as a result, causing his breakdown earlier. To any average person, it's a clear sign that he needs a break. But Dream is a stubborn bastard and an idiot, and he knows he won't take that break. The constant weight from work and his awful mental state weighs heavy on his shoulder, the voice inside his head reminds him how worthless he is. Sure he believes it sometimes, but others he's able to ground himself before he spirals.

All thoughts of work and stress disappear once he reaches his destination.

A large gap in the surrounding trees made up the clearing. There was a large hill in the clearing centre, with a small pond off the one side. The whole place was that of a fairytale, and Dream was glad it was hidden away from the public. In his years of coming here, he'd never once seen another person. Also, none of the woods ever looked to be tampered with by something that wasn't animals. He smiles. Without hesitation, he starts climbing the hill, eventually peeking over the treeline. His foot almost gets stuck in a rabbit hole he doesn't remember existing, as he nears the top. Finally, as the last of the sun falls over the horizon, he makes it to the top. Dream collapses on his back, panting and zoning out slightly. He takes deep breaths, closing his eyes momentarily to ground himself. After catching his breath, he sits up, admiring the stunning view. The hill's peak was only a few metres above the treeline; however, the view was spectacular. He could see the dense forest he just trekked through ahead of him, feeling homey and safe to him.

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