Mine or nah (urban romance)

Bust one or nah

"Fuck you bitch. You just mad cause I don't wanna fuck with you no more you dirty ass ho."

"I ain't gone be too many more bitches. I don't hit females but I will choke the fuck out of one. Keep trying me."

This happens weekly between my roommate and his girlfriend. They been going together for a year and every week without fail she breaks up with him, accuses him of cheating, which we all know he is, and calls him all kinds of bitches and hos. He threatens to choke her out when we all know he ain't gone do shit. In the end they end up going to his room and fucking all night. Which I can tell you sounds like a monkey and a dying cat going at it.

"Nigga you ain't gone do shit. Bitch, bitch, bitchity bitch bitch."

I had to hold in a chuckle at that one. Her ass funny.

"Who is she huh. I'm sick of this shit Malcolm. I don't know why I've been with yo ass this long. You ain't nothing but a lying cheating ass ho."

I couldn't argue with that. Malcolm ass did get around. What I can tell you is he always straps up. I'm no saint either but we made a vow when we were sixteen to wrap it before we tap it. No STDs and no kids here buddy.

"Linda, how many times I gotta tell you I'm not cheating on you. Them hos lying. They just want what you got but I only got eyes for you baby."

And here comes the game. It's about time for them to wrap this up. As entertaining as it is to watch them go back and forth they've been arguing for about four hours now. I don't know why he is putting in all this effort for this girl if he just gone cheat on her. I mean she is cute. Medium length hair, brown eyes, and ass for days. She's apart of the itty bitty titty committee though but I guess the sex is good since he be sounding like Ceasar off planet of the apes while having sex with her.

"Think about it."

And the game continues.

"Them hos don't like you. They just want to keep you around to be nosy and keep you miserable and questioning our relationship."

Hook line and sinker. I could tell he got her with that line. She know her friends some hos. I fucked two just because they agreed to a threesome. I know for a fact Malcolm fucked the same two for the exact same reason but, in my Ray J voice, I hit them first. I'm positive they only come visit her to see us. Not to sound conceited but I am very easy on the eyes. I'm 6'2", 200lbs, hazel eyes, toned body, caramel complexion, and the sexiest dimpled smile you'll ever see. I'm a dime plus ninety nine. Sexy bachelor by day and even sexier stripper by night. They say me and Malcolm could pass for twins so I guess he aight.

"I don't know what to believe. You've cheated on me so many times Malcolm."

"I know but I've been trying to make it right. I love you girl. I'm gone wife you one day."

"Awww Malcolm I love you too"

And he has won the game.

"I just got one question for you" He told her. I already knew where he was going with this. They end their fights the same way every time. They think it's cute when really it just makes me want to put a bullet through my head. With that I grab my coat and start heading for the door.

"What's that baby"

I put a little pep in my step trying to get to the door before he could ask. This shit be blowing me. He be doing the shit on purpose too. He know I hate when they do this shit. I was almost out the door when I heard him say......

"You gone let me bust one or nah"

Fuck. I still have a chance to be out of earshot before they can finish but right when I was going to turn the door knob I heard her say....

"Oooooh daddy."

And I'm done.

"You motherfuckers. I can't stand y'all ass."

And we all started cracking up. Every since the day I first heard them say that and busted up laughing at them they have made it their mission to say it in front of me as much as possible. It became a game where I would try to be out of earshot before they could finish, but they always catch me off guard the fuckers.

"Y'all ass always get me."

"Mercy, you'll never win. Just give up" Malcolm said.

"Man whatever. I'm about to head out though. I know what comes next and I really don't want to hear sounds from the animal kingdom right now. I'll catch y'all later."

"Motherfucker" I heard Linda say right before I closed the door and left our two bedroom apartment. I laughed to myself as I walked down the hallway, down the stairs, out the door, and into the streets of chicago.

This is my first story. Comments are welcomed. I'm co writing this with a friend. I hope you guys enjoy.