SENIORS | shawmila

five.

Shawn was starting to think he should start journaling, maybe write down the floods of feelings he was going through every day. But of course he was afraid of that falling into the wrong hands, leaving the thoughts tangled in his brain rather than down on paper.

He couldn't believe he did it with Camila again. Maybe it was weird to admit to anyone but himself, but he definitely discovered his new favorite thing yesterday. Did all girls taste that good, or was it just her? It didn't matter, he didn't want any other girl anyways.

She seemed to have a good time, it had him thinking maybe he could stand having her leave if it meant she always came back. If they were physical only, he might be able to stand that heartbreak because of just how amazing it was.

But they hadn't made any new plans, so he told himself to stop daydreaming and focus on his schoolwork before he missed something important.

He still felt in a daze, not even realizing people were looking at him, whispering, until he got to his last class. In photography, the teacher was still sticking to basic lectures on color theory for those freshman who signed up for an easy A. The lights were off and the teacher was flipping through slides on the projector. That meant Shawn and the other seniors were supposed to be working on their projects in silence.

Shawn sat in the back, going through his notes and trying to think. He needed to talk to Shelby, but finding that chance was gonna be hard. She was always around so many friends, and what if she hadn't even been serious when she agreed to letting him take her picture? What if she laughed in his face or something?

He looked at April now. She was deep into her notes and he felt his heart pound. He couldn't risk her beating him, not when this was senior year. It was either now or never in getting his pictures in the yearbook where people would actually look at them and not just flip right past them.

The usual whispering by the slackers in the back of the class got louder and Shawn was torn from his thoughts, looking back over his shoulder at Connor and Brian. They were glancing at him now and Shawn could hear Brian over the sound of the lecture.

"I'm not asking him, you ask him—"

"Ask me what?" Shawn leaned in, scooting closer to them. They looked at each other and Shawn just stared.

"It's just, we heard people saying something about you—" Brian said and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Not this shit again." He sighed, dragging his chair over to join their table. The only times he was ever a talking point where when someone started some shitty rumor about him. He thought everyone matured past that about two years ago, but apparently not. "What? What did you hear?"

"Um, basically that you..." Brian looked down at the table but Connor spoke up.

"You hooked up with Shelby the other night."

"What!?"

Shawn's face went red and he quickly looked back towards the front of the classroom. The teacher gave him a warning glare before turning back to the lecture. Shawn moved closer to their table.

"What? Where did you hear that?"

"A girl last period was saying it." Connor whispered back. "Saying she saw you and Shelby upstairs together at the party."

"Oh my God."

"It's not true, is it?" Brian asked.

"No. Well, yes—" He started and they both looked at him with wide eyes. "Yes, we were in her room, but I was just looking for somewhere to smoke. She asked to share, and I couldn't say no, it was her house."