My Brain and Other Things I Don't Understand

Four

Alex

After a few more weeks, Cassidy kept taking me to all sorts of places she goes to in order to escape her family's tight clutches. 

She took me everywhere. 

To a bowling alley, an abandoned mobile home, a souvenir shop, Delta's, and even a local museum I didn't even knew our town had. In short, everywhere we went, Cassidy was always known by the people around there.

It was confusing at first. The more we explored our town after school every week, the more I was getting used to people knowing who she is and even, who I was. 

While the soft glow of warmth I feel around Cassidy only grows stronger every time she looks at me with those big green eyes of hers, or whenever she smiles and laughs at something I must've said, as days passed by, I found myself wishing she felt the same way about me too. 

I found it a bit embarrassing to have developed a small crush on her.

"Ready Alex?" Cassidy asked as soon as we finished our last class at school. With a smile, I happily nodded and went with her to the bus stop. 

As soon as we found our seats on the bus, she kept staring at me with her big, green eyes. I tried to come off as unbothered, because it was Cassidy. 

"Do I look uglier today or is there another reason why you're staring at me?" I asked.

"I never knew staring at a friend was illegal. Ugly or not, I like you. I like your silence. And yes, these rare, occasional bursts of being an idiot. Have I taught you sarcasm already? We can start with the basics."

The whole bus ride to god knows where was just all talk, with Cassidy acting all goofy and careless as she tried her hardest being serious about her sarcasm lessons. A few minutes ago, she was even shushed by an old lady a few seats in front of us. Cassidy apologized and slumped back into her seat, frowning at the back of the old lady's head.

"Elders. Why the hell do they think they know better than us? Just because we're young doesn't mean we're entirely stupid." She said as she side-eyed the old lady, seemingly annoyed.

"Maybe they just want us to learn to be better?" I suggested.

I wasn't as contemplative as Cassidy was. She sat beside me idly, her eyes pointing down toward her chunky sneakers. She didn't seem to even mind my comment.

"Like, we're young. Of course we can do stupid shit now because there's no fucking way I'm doing all the things on my bucket list by the time I'm thirty." She said, finally slacking down as she gently slammed her back against the semi-soft padding of the seat we were sharing.

"Like what?" I asked, noting her bucket list.

I remember writing down one too with Dad and my older sister. I used to write the stupidest things such as riding a bike off to space. The most realistic one I probably wrote down was to visit South Korea, where my mom was from.

Almost immediately, Cassidy brought her backpack up on her lap and unzipped it, taking a small green notepad out of it.

Flipping the pages as she cleared her throat discreetly, her fingers landed on a page that was almost full of scribbles and check lists.

Most were still blank, but a few were ticked off. I peered in a little toward her to see what was written on it. It was definitely not something I would do to get a little close to her.

"Number one: Find someone to do things with me that would scare my mother to death. Check." She said, smiling to herself before looking at me.

I felt my face heat up again, so I had to move a bit farther away.

"Number two: Travel. Me and my family rarely travel, but going around town counts, right? That's another check."

That was a given. She does like her adventures. She knows a lot of people too, and that was unexpected of her. I wouldn't even be ashamed to admit she's the most amazing person I've ever met.

Most beautiful too.

"Number three: Get in trouble and be grounded. I've done this multiple times so that checks it off by a hundred." She said, her expression satisfied as she tried to stop herself from grinning widely.

I find it kinda adorable. Even when she stops herself from smiling, there's always a trace of it left on her face.

"Number four: Fall in love again." she said, her face hardening a bit as she closed her notepad shut, and turned to look at me.

I didn't know how to address that.

"Wow. That's--, a really good list." I could only say.

God, I'm so bad at this.

Thankfully, Cassidy nodded and smiled, her full attention diverted towards me, this time.

"Yeah? How about you? What kind of things do you want to do with your life?" She asked as she moved a little closer to me, I swore it suddenly felt a little hotter than usual.

I don't exactly have an updated bucket list, or a concrete plan. I haven't thought of it much since the only thing I have in mind is any way to help my mom in the future. I really just want what's best for the people I love.

Then I looked at Cassidy, with her green eyes staring at me expectantly, and all I could give her was my shit of a plan.

"College. Get a stable job. Maybe buy my mom a house or something. I'm not sure. We all really just want to get rich at this point." I said.

The part about college was still in the works, since I'm not sure if we can afford it. I was not too smart to get scholarships, but I was hoping I could get financial aid.

Cassidy nodded and crossed her arms across her chest, still looking at me.

"You're going down the usual track, aren't you?" She asked.

"What track?"

Cassidy shrugged momentarily.

"You know, that track. When someone asks you what you want to do with your life, what do most people say? They tell them they'll study more, get a job, then get rich."

"Don't people not want to get rich?" I answered back. That made Cassidy smile a bit, it made something inside me jump.

"We can't really say, Al. I mean, I want to get rich too but, I think my fate lies elsewhere." She said, her tone sounding far and distant.

"Where?"

"Somewhere better off from where I am." She said, before she closed her eyes, rubbed her neck, and fell asleep.

I'll wake her soon once we get to the animal shelter. She deserves to sleep a bit.