And If You Ask Me, I Will Stay.

Chapter One.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love the rain? Well, I do. A lot. There's just something soothing about the sound of rain drops pitter-pattering against roof; about the music it creates, with the way it harmonizes with the thunder claps rolling above. There was something soothing about watching the way the clouds tinted the world gray--about the way the rain drenched the world, as if to prove the point that mother nature was wild and unpredictable.

  Personally, I preferred rain to sunshine. Sure, sunshine felt great, but my mood was always better when it rained. I could never explain this to anyone who questioned it. Maybe this was why my parents named my Seattle. But that was something I would never get an answer to.

I managed to tear my eyes away from the rain rolling down the foggy window pane. My gaze followed the steam coiling in thin wisps above the cup of hot chocolate that sat beside my fresh journal, opened to the first blank page. I ran my finger tips across the glossy paper. The empty slates were waiting to be filled with words, words that were currently escaping me at the moment. This was rather frustrating; normally, this type of weather was the best for not only my mood, but my creativity as well. Normally, my words flowed as easily as the rain did from the clouds rolling above. But there was a block in my mind that prevented the words from flowing. My pen was poised above the paper, ready to write, but nothing was coming.

  Sighing, I let the pen fall. It landed against the paper with a soft thud. I'd been off all day, as if I were on autopilot. My mind wanted to come up with all sorts of excuses for why I was in a funk, but the truth was clear, a small nagging in the corner of my mind I had I shoved it in.

Today was April sixth, 2016.

Today would have been six years together, six years married.

Today was a day that I just couldn't forget, no matter how hard I tried.

  As I always did whenever this day rolled around, I thought back to that brisk January morning. In all honesty, it had seemed like such an ordinary day; the normal routine had begun, and we'd prepared for another day to start. But then the phone rang, and everything went down hill from there. My heart felt as if something where squeezing it, as it always did whenever this memory, or any memory of him for that matter, found its way to the surface of my conscious mind. That phone call had started the fight. The first fight we had ever had. The only fight we would ever have.

 I closed my eyes against the images that were playing, willing them back behind the door they were normally hidden behind.

Six years later, and he still found his way to my mind. Six years later, and the memories I had of him, of us, made my heart race. Six years later, and I still couldn't get rid of my wedding band. Six years later, and I still couldn't let go of my love for Declan Sparks.

 I sighed softly. My chin fell into my upturned palm; I could feel my eyes sliding out of focus as I thought about Declan. I didn't understand it. Why couldn't I just let go of him? It had been six years, and yet he still constantly plagued my mind, haunted my dreams. It was like my heart refused to move on; even thinking about being with another man felt like a betrayal--a betrayal to a man that had left me.

Sighing again, I reached for my cup and lifted it to my lips. The warmth emanating from it heated my hands; it spread through me, a soothing heat as I sipped from it. I took another sip and forced away the thoughts and images from my past. That was enough time spent dwelling on things that couldn't be fixed.

  To distract myself, I let my gaze wander about the small coffee shop. It was rather empty today, my guess because of the storm outside. The few people in there were regulars like me; familiar with the menu and its specials, friendly with the workers, but chose to keep to themselves and what they liked best.